Between The Shadow and The Soul
by Visions
Summary: Sasuke-oriented. Completed. Another foe, another fight, another chance. Revelations and the final journey home. Uchiha Sasuke returns to Konoha at last. Comments and constructive criticism, absolutely and completely welcome. Enjoy.
1. Prologue

Hello! This is my… **counts on fingers** third Naruto fic! Sasuke-oriented. There are some instances where he may seem OOC, but hopefully, it isn't too obvious. Anyways, please review! Constructive criticism welcome!

Between the Shadow and the Soul

_Prologue _

_She was a happy girl, but she always cried around him. _

_That time she thought he had been killed by the Mist Ninja and the first time the curse seal took him prisoner… Both instances, her eyes had rained sorrow. He had always thought of her as excessively cheerful so he had been surprised by the change sadness wrought in her. Back then, it hadn't seemed right._

_But he hadn't been killed and he had fought off the curse seal so the sad Sakura faded away and she eventually returned to normal. _

_He thought he had seen the end of it. _

_But then came the night when he decided to leave and join the Sound Nin. He still remembered the sight of her, standing in the lonely street, trembling beneath the dark sky. _

_Nothing could've shaken his resolve that time. Not her tears, not her pleas, not even her declaration of love. The encounter with Itachi was still burned onto his mind and there was no room for anything else. _

_Love, he had thought, contempt masking the confusion, Why does she fool herself into loving me?_

_"You really are annoying," he had said at last._

_But maybe some part of him acknowledged that her feelings were genuine, maybe some part didn't want her last memory of him to be tainted with cold, blunt remarks… _

_She was his teammate and they had been through quite a lot together. That had to carry some weight. _

_So he thanked her for everything and for nothing. Then as the tears slipped down her face and he could tell that her heart was shattering in her chest, he had walked away._

_And that had been all._

_Then chaos ensued and he was caught up Orochimaru's plans for destroying the Leaf, in the powerful ninja's struggles for reincarnation and for immortality… trapped in that never-ending vortex of revenge and hate and blood… and lost in the curse seal that was destroying his soul and eating him alive… lost until Naruto found him, beat the crap out of him, and carried him home…_

_Home…Konoha…It wasn't much and yet it was… Truly… He never thought he would actually see it again…_

_She didn't cry the day he came back. _

_When Naruto deposited him on the hospital bed and turned to her with a proud, weary grin, she had lunged to bury their blonde teammate in an embrace, saying over and over again, "Arigatou, Naruto… Arigatou…"_

_When her attention had focused on him, he had tensed in expectation of extreme anger or happiness. Either one would've been satisfying to witness, preferably the former than the latter as he had been feeling particularly guilty. But she had merely stared at him with those glad, green eyes and that relieved smile as if she had known all along that he would return. _

_"Welcome home, Sasuke-kun," she had said softly._

_And that had been all._

_She came to visit him once more after that._

_"I want to give you something," she had said, pressing a flower into his hand. It was a sakura blossom, beautiful and in full bloom. At the time, he had wondered if it meant something for there was a new strength in her face that he had never noticed before. There was also a peculiar calmness in her movements and in her expression. He had studied her carefully and then had realized that, for once, she was restraining her emotions. _

_"Do you like it?"_

_He had muttered something and she had said lightly, "Well, I suppose it doesn't matter if you like it or not. I like it." And she had put an emphasis on the 'I'._

_He hadn't known whether to be surprised or not. Sakura had always been bright. Had she figured out finally that he was never one for expressing feelings? Had she finally discovered that her silly crush was pointless?_

_"Kakashi-sensei told us that you'll be staying now that he's promised to train you up to Itachi's level."_

_"Aa," he had nodded, looking away in case his next words would cause her grief, "I don't know how much that'll help. He's probably lying. He's not as strong as Itachi. But he said I could leave once I became eighteen. With the permission of The Fifth Hokage. That way, I won't be a missing-nin and I won't cause trouble for the village." It was either that or death, but he didn't tell her that._

_He had been bracing himself for her reaction so when she gently took his hand and squeezed it, his head turned against his will in surprise and he was taken back by the acceptance in her eyes. Unconsciously, he returned the action, relieved that she wasn't begging him to change his mind._

_"Arigatou," she had said, "I know it's not easy for you to stay."_

_Then she had let go and walked to the doorway. Pausing, she had turned back with a wistful glance as if trying to memorize the sight of him. Then, in that same soft way in which she had welcomed home, she had told him, "I won't hold you back anymore."_

_At his open sigh of relief, her lips quirked up ironically and she had said, "But… in the future, please find happiness, Sasuke-kun."_

_And that had been all. _

_He couldn't have known that she was saying good-bye._

_But at that moment, something ended between them. Perhaps it was her infatuation, her annoying habits of trying to get his attention and talking to him about irrelevant things, or maybe just the simple need to get close to him._

_Yet, the ironic thing was… the moment she stopped trying to reach him, she touched him. _

_The following years were marked by a quiet friendship. After that visit, she never sought him out anymore. At least, not in the romantic sense. She stopped being Sakura, the girl who chased after him nonstop, and become just… Sakura, his teammate, his… friend. And along with Naruto, she was the closest thing he had to family._

_She and Naruto began to take on missions while he continued to train under Kakashi. Sometimes, they went together but more oft than not, Naruto and Sakura would be out completing tasks while he learned and perfected techniques. Occasionally, though, the three of them would get together after long training sessions and have ramen at Naruto's urging._

_It was almost odd. He didn't mind it that much anymore. Their company, that is. It was suddenly much more bearable when he no longer saw them as stumbling blocks. And they – mostly Sakura and Naruto – would share stories about their day while he dropped a comment here and there, one that usually sent Naruto into an indignant rage while Sakura laughed._

Suddenly, he wanted to hear it again. Her laugh. Suddenly, nothing in the world mattered as much. It would've been equally enough to just simply hear her voice. Or the way she said "Sasuke-kun" or "Naruto" as if they were important to her, whether she was talking or yelling at them…

Maybe it was all these memories that were holding him back from reality. They seemed so real and she had always been so animate and so warm… not like this emotionless, lifeless body before him. The truth didn't seem possible and yet it was.

They said it had been an ambush during a protection mission. She had been trying to save the target and the kunai had gotten her directly in the heart. They said she had died instantly without pain and in the line of duty. They wanted her name on that rock. That damn rock Kakashi's friend was on. They put her in the burial hut, they put her _here_ on the outskirts of town, alone and waiting to sleep forever in the earth…

He dropped soundlessly to his knees, letting his fingers graze across her cheek. She looked so peaceful that he could imagine her opening her eyes and sitting up with her usual, sunny smile.

Her skin was cold.

Her lips, ummoving.

Her body, dead.

Sakura was dead.

Beside him, Naruto howled with grief.


	2. Chapter 1: Pain and Hope

Chapter 1: Pain and Hope

Sasuke didn't know what to feel. It was strange. It had been so long since he had felt anything other than self-hatred and fury at his brother. When his parents had been slaughtered, he thought he had lost everything and that there would be nothing more to lose.

_So… why does it hurt so much?_

Looking at Sakura's face as it slept but didn't really sleep, and knowing that she would never wake again, he somehow knew the answer.

"Sakura-chan…" Naruto's voice mourned. With sore, red eyes and an expression brimming with tears, he looked as if he had been drained of happiness.

Clenching his fists, Sasuke turned. "You…" he said, in a low voice that was shaking with anger he didn't quite understand.

"You were supposed to protect her!" he accused in a rage that he couldn't have explained, grabbing the other boy by the shoulders and shaking him furiously. Anything was better than what he was currently feeling and Sasuke relished the violence, getting in a few good punches before Kakashi pulled him away.

Naruto stumbled back, bruises already showing on his left eye. But although his teeth had clenched at the outburst, he had received the blows with no resistance.

"Enough," their sensei said sharply, grabbing his hand before more damage could be inflicted, "It was noone's fault, Sasuke."

"You're wrong. It _is_ someone's fault," he retorted harshly, wrenching himself away.

"And why's that?"

Sasuke turned away, unable to tolerate the question. With a hopeless punch, he took out his fury on the nearby wall and cursed. He didn't know the answer to that, was too upset to even care about the answer. But at the same time, he hated himself for not knowing. He cursed again. The emotion that was gnawing at him was the same as what he had experienced years ago when he first saw his dead parents lying motionlessly on the ground in their own blood.

"Because good people like Sakura-chan don't deserve to be murdered," Naruto said finally, hollowly, "It's my fault. I was there… Sasuke's right… I didn't protect her… I let some bastard hurt her… I was too slow..."

You're always too slow, Sasuke thought bitterly. But the pain on the other's face stopped him from inflicting such cruelty out loud.

"Thinking like that will get you nowhere. Regretting the past is pointless."

Sasuke flinched at the casual, calm tone. Some teacher Kakashi was. All that crap about teamwork and caring for your teammates and now that one of his students was dead at his feet, he had already moved on without sparing any time to grieve.

"Don't you even care!?" Naruto echoed his sentiments, looking ready to tackle the man, "How can you be so cold when Sakura-chan is _dead_!?"

This time, it was Naruto's words that caused him to flinch. Sasuke looked at her face again, lost in its blissful dream, and hastily closed his eyes before he showed something he didn't want to show.

"Don't touch her, you bastard!!"

Naruto's voice, heated and shrieking, jolted his eyes open again. He turned to see Kakashi kneeling by Sakura's lifeless form and felt Naruto's reckless chakra, filled with wrath and rising. The blonde looked ready to tear his former sensei to pieces.

It was Tsunade who held him back.

…Or rather, who knocked him out. With a careful blow, the Fifth Hokage sent Konoha's most hyperactive ninja flying across the room.

"Calm down, you idiot."

"He's just emotional," Kakashi spoke up.

"Tch. Too emotional for his own good sometimes," she replied and being unconscious, the subject of their conversation was unable to defend himself.

Kakashi said, light with concern, "Will he be alright? You hit him pretty hard and he already had wounds to begin with."

Sasuke turned to Naruto's fallen form, wondering with faint disbelief how he could've missed seeing the injuries. In addition to the bruises he had just received, Naruto wore a sling and a crimson-stained bandage was wrapped securely around his head; his orange clothes possessed unbecoming splotches of red.

"Don't worry. He'll be alright. He's a strong boy, after all."

But Sasuke was already regretting his earlier reaction. Naruto had obviously done his best. Up to this point, he had never let anyone down. He had never let _her_ down. Unlike himself. With some frustration, Sasuke recognized that his anger was being directed internally, as it had always been and usually was. There was no escape. Once again, just as when he had been so easily defeated by his brother, he felt like a failure. This time, though, it was a hundred times worse because it was not himself he had let down but others.

_Some teammate you are… One's hurt and the other's… _

He couldn't finish the thought. Abruptly, a question rose to the top of his mind. Would things have turned out differently if he had gone with them? If he hadn't been so focused on his damn revenge and killing Itachi, would she still be…

"…He's bleeding, though."

"For Heavens' sake, Kakashi, I only dealt him a whack on his hard head! He'll heal! I'm more concerned with Sakura-chan right now!" the Fifth Hokage said crossly. She leaned over the body, pressing her ear to the heart, muttering, "That boy must have been on crack when he said that you didn't care. Any idiot can tell that you've been trying to reach her with your chakra."

Sasuke felt his throat go dry when he realized she was right. Through Sharingan eyes, he saw Sakura's still body outlined with the dim glow of strong chakra, something else he hadn't noticed before.

"She's… alive?"

Only when the piercing, wise eyes had turned to him, did Sasuke realize he had spoken aloud without thinking.

"No."

His red eyes faded back to black. Whatever spark had been lit died as quickly as it had came and he was numb from its disappearance.

"…At least, not her body. But her soul's still around here somewhere, thanks to Kakashi. And that's enough. People aren't truly dead until their souls have left their body and gone to…"

She paused, uncertain.

"…wherever they go," Kakashi finished.

"That's a roundabout way of putting it," she said wryly, "But it works, I suppose."

Part of him wanted to tell them to cut the ambiguity and tell him straight out what was going on. But another part could tell by the solemn expressions on their faces that their knowledge of the afterlife was just as lacking as his own. After all, who knew where a person went after death. Certainly, noone alive could tell them…

But if she isn't really gone… 

He said slowly, guarding himself in case it was just another pointless hope, "So there's still a chance."

"Yes. She's out there somewhere," Tsunade repeated, "Wandering. Lost, maybe. I'm not sure. The soul isn't just one piece of a person, you know. It's made up in fragments, bits and pieces. Usually, it takes a while for all of them to leave. A couple of days. Fortunately for Sakura-chan, most of them are still here, held by Kakashi's chakra. But others…"

Her voice trailed off and when she spoke again, it was low and secretive, "There's a forbidden jutsu that separates part of a person's soul from the body. As Hokage, I'm not allowed to practice it. Funny, neh?" Sasuke wondered what she meant by that. Her laugh was sarcastic but short-lived before a certain understanding took over her face, "But I know the pain that Naruto will suffer once he wakes up and she's gone. The pain you're going through right now, Sasuke."

For once, he didn't bother to deny that he was anything other than emotionless.

"So I'll do it, just this once." The last traces of wistfulness melted away and rolling up her sleeves, she suddenly became business-like, "Now what we'll need first is someone willing to go out and search for her, collect whatever missing fragments there are and bring them back here. It's going to be dangerous so an experienced ninja would be preferred. Someone stupid and reckless would be even better. Maybe Anko…"

"I'll go."

She pursed her lips together in a satisfied smile. He had spoken without hesitation.


	3. Chapter 2: The Land of Shadows

First of all, thanks for all the reviews! They're really encouraging!

Fireblazie - Huh, you're right. It does resemble Inuyasha, although my inspiration came more from Philip Pullman's Dark Materials trilogy and angsty Sasuke manga moments.

Ayumu-in-blue – ;; I don't really think Sakura is weak either. Just… a bit… passive? She never seems to do much in battle unless pushed to her limit. Not that that's a bad thing. It's a big improvement from how she was in the beginning. Now, of course, I can definitely see why you think she's strong. In any case, thanks for the constructive criticism. I will try to work more on her characterization. Also, ah… your review made me realize that the prologue may have contained a certain spoiler so, **falls to knees and apologizes GOMEN, MINNA! **And…um… rushes off to stick on a spoiler warning

SPOILER WARNING! Takes place after chapter 180 of the MANGA!

And while I'm busy sticking up stuff… Here's the famous disclaimer that says that Naruto and all related characters don't belong to me. sob .

And now, in return for your patience, the story!

The Land of Shadows

They had to wait until night. The jutsu could only be performed in the dark.

Sasuke sat quietly in the corner of the burial hut where Sakura's body was being held.

Naruto laid a few feet away, beneath a red, cotton blanket that Sasuke had managed to find. His wounds had been more serious than anyone had thought. Six hours later, though the bleeding had stopped, he was still sound asleep. But there was an unsettling frown on the boy's face and his eyebrows were knit together in distress. It didn't seem like he was having pleasant dreams.

Not that anyone could blame him.

Sasuke switched his attention to Tsunade. Surrounded by various bowls and materials, she was lighting candles.

But their glow was not gold but a light green that could signify life or death. For Sasuke, it reminded him of the color of Sakura's eyes.

Sasuke mused over the information Tsunade had given him, trying to prepare himself for what laid ahead.

This jutsu was neither offensive nor defensive, the Fifth Hokage had said. Rather, it had been invented by a man who had lost his son to illness. For all his strength and power as a ninja, he had been devastated by his loss and had spent the rest of his life searching for a way to see him again. Of course, in Sasuke's opinion, the easiest way would have been suicide. But that must not have appealed much to the man for he had opted for a jutsu instead and had recorded his findings in the scroll that was currently in Tsunade's hand.

As it turned out, there wasn't much to record.

Only the process, which involved special candles, a mixture of dream-inducing herbs, chanting, blood, and other wonderfully morbid elements. And a brief warning, written before the man finally left the world for good. He had managed to see his son twice before he died, falling into a deep, deep slumber that would only cease once his soul rejoined his body. On his third try, the jutsu had completely severed the two and he had never woken up again. His body had been buried accordingly, next to the grave of his beloved child.

Sasuke had felt this last bit of information was less than encouraging but according to Tsunade, she was compelled to tell him because, well, what if he didn't return? There was a limited amount of time a person could survive outside their physical forms, after all.

Then bury me, he had said, disturbed by the idea but understanding that it was not completely impossible.

Where?

Next to Sakura.

…Not next to his parents, to his family, to his clan members. In the darkness, Sasuke wondered why he had said that.

Kakashi was looking at him. The ninja could not move far for it was his chakra sustaining the remaining parts of her soul.

When their gazes met, student and teacher, Sasuke found his own guilt mirrored in the other's eyes. It lasted only an instant before each glanced away. Words had never been essential between them and in those few seconds, communication of a more meaningful kind had been achieved.

"A soul can survive outside the body for three days at the most before disappearing for good. You have two days at the most to bring her back and if you can't, three days to come back yourself. Good luck, Sasuke-kun."

But oddly enough, it was from Kakashi's words that he unconsciously drew comfort. "Naruto and I are counting on you," he said simply.

"Aa," said Sasuke, laying down, fighting his nervousness and replacing it with all the calm he could muster.

Something dripped on his face and then Tsunade stood up, sprinkling the substance over his entire body.

It was her blood. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw it make its way down his skin, redder and darker than his Sharingan.

It was a memory of Sakura and raindrops that he thought of while the Fifth Hokage chanted. As words flowed around and around, he could only think of that day when everything seemed to be crying. She had been so sad then…

Then as the light of the candles seem to flicker in and out even though his eyes were wide open, he recalled the warning on the scroll, last written words from the man who had given everything just to see his precious person again.

_Love is death._

Then he saw the walls upon which the shadows were dancing and the black forms writhed in merriment, beckoning him.

"Sasuke-kun, are you still here?" The voice of the Fifth Hokage was distant, blurred. He could not see her or Kakashi. Only the shadows and they were laughing.

_Foolish boy. Foolishfoolishfoolish… _

He drew in a breath and everything vanished.

------------

_They were standing in the alley and she was trying to keep him, "I love you with all my heart!"_

_They were in the hospital and she was letting him go, "I want you to have something…"_

_They were eating ramen and she was laughing, "Sasuke-kun…" _

_They were standing in the rain and she was crying, "Sasuke-kun…"_

_They were standing in the sun and she was smiling, "Me and Naruto, we'll be back soon and when we do, let's go get ramen, neh? Good-bye, Sasuke-kun!"_

Good-bye, Sasuke-kun…

He woke up in the Land of the Dead with red eyes.


	4. Chapter 3: The Familiar Stranger

Disclaimer: Me no own Naruto or any related characters, just this lil' story.

Chapter 3: The Familiar Stranger

The first thing Sasuke noticed was the emptiness.

He was standing on the edge of a river, completely alone. The fact didn't bother greatly as he had considered himself alone for quite some time now. But the fact that he was alone and defenseless. That was a whole different matter.

His chakra was extremely low. He knew it instinctively without knowing the reason for the sudden deficiency.

That meant he had nothing to protect himself, except his weapons and hands. Well, those would have to do then. He had good aim.

He studied his surroundings with a critical eye.

There was no sound, except the slight tinkling of water and his own breathing.

The sky was grey and sad. There was no sun, no color in this place.

Then he looked at the river that seemed to stretch on for miles and miles. It was murky black, whispering of sin and shadows. Somehow, just looking at it made him unbearably thirsty. The ache spread from his throat to his heart. He had to stop the hurt. The pain came from nowhere and yet, had always been with him. Unconsciously, he knelt, hands moving toward the liquid that promised relief.

"…I wouldn't touch that if I were you."

Sasuke turned at the voice, thirst forgotten. So he wasn't alone, after all.

The person eyeing him wore a Konoha Anbu mask.

Nevertheless wary, Sasuke reached into his pouch for a weapon. It never hurt to be careful. He froze upon touching air.

"Looking for these?" the stranger said casually, dangling a pair of kunai, "If you want them, come get them."

He knew a challenge when he heard one. With narrowed eyes, Sasuke slid into a taijutsu stance. No chakra, no weapons, but he still had his hands and those were dangerous on their own.

"You look strong. That's good. Worthy opponents are the most fun to break."

The voice was too confident for Sasuke's taste. Tense and alert, he waited for the other to make the first move.

It came quickly. The two kunai, aimed at his neck, shot through the air, too fast to be caught. Sasuke dodged. A cloud of shuriken followed him and he nimbly moved again to avoid harm.

The masked figure was suddenly behind him. A kick to his back sent him falling face forward to the ground.

Arms shooting forward instantly in a reflex, Sasuke saved himself from impact. He did a quick somersault, picking up a kunai and flinging it at his opponent in the process. He was already on his feet by the time the blade found its home in the stranger's shoulder.

Sasuke smirked as the figure staggered backward, clutching his new wound.

"Itai… That hurt…"

But whatever other complaints he may have had remained unsaid for Sasuke had charged forward to deliver a solid punch to his face.

There was a loud crack and the mask split evenly in two. The dark shadows shouted gleefully in anticipation as the white halves fell.

Sasuke leapt backward.

His enemy stumbled and then regained his balance. In a swift motion, he pulled out the kunai with disdain and sighed, "Now where am I gonna get new black robes? Oh geez, there's a great big hole!" He ripped off the dark cloth to show a familiar, orange workout suit, scowling at the person responsible, "Thanks a lot, you bastard."

Sasuke blinked, "Naruto?"

The guy stood up, running a hand through blonde hair and grinning, "That's the owner of this face, right?"

So it wasn't Naruto. He was about to attack again when he realized the other boy wasn't bleeding. There was no red where the kunai had gotten him. Obviously, the enemy wasn't as powerless as he seemed. Sasuke held himself back and decided to adopt a more passive approach. It was a far-off possibility but perhaps if he tried hard enough to muster chakra…

"Oh hey! Your eyes changed color! How'd ya do that?"

Apparently, he wasn't familiar with the powerful Sharingan of the Uchiha bloodline.

"Neh, neh, is that like some kind of supervision? Can you see through walls? Hehehe, it'd be awesome if you could. I know some real nice bathplaces…"

Hmph. He sure acts like Naruto, Sasuke thought, eyebrow twitching. This person had the irritating part down flat.

…And this person wasn't alive. Sasuke stared and stared with a rising level of dread. Was his Sharingan lying to him? Iie. That wasn't possible.

"Who are you?" he finally demanded, hiding his uneasiness.

"I don't have a name. I suppose…" he thought about it before letting an impish smile spread, "I suppose you can call me Naruto. After all, we do look a tad alike, don't you think?" He dissolved into a fit of snickers.

"You're not Naruto. You're not even human," Sasuke said, dead-pan, "With the Sharingan, I look at you and all I see is a faceless shadow with no substance."

It was true. Under normal conditions and normal eyes, its appearance resembled Naruto. It even acted like an idiot. But the Sharingan did not tolerate deception and before red eyes, the being before him appeared in its true form. Featureless. Black.

It was shaped like a human but it lacked organs and a face. It possessed no eyes, no nose, no mouth, no heart… All that was replaced by a sinister blackness. In all respects, it looked like a shadow.

"The Sharingan…" the dark form muttered in recognition before retorting, "Well, how much substance do you expect in the Land of Shadows?"

Aa, so that's where he was. He had been wondering. Perhaps this thing knew where Sakura was, too. "I'm looking for someone."

"Who?"

"A girl with pink hair."

"Ahhh!" exclaimed the shadow, "I just saw her!"

"Where?"

"Sorry to disappoint you but you're a bit late."

"Late? Where is she?"

"The place you are in now is a version of purgatory. It's where the souls of those who have just died wait until they can go across, " the shadow pointed across the river, "Over there is the land of the dead where they go. Your friend, the pretty little thing with the pink, just left."

There was more. Sasuke waited, letting his Sharingan fade so that the face looking at him was no longer blank and black.

'Naruto' smiled at him but the blue eyes were not those belonging to a friend. They burned with malice for the shadow had guessed his purpose, "…And once you cross over, you can't come back."

-----------

…Haha, a corny way to end it but now I know what you're all thinking. _Of course_ he comes back, right? Right?


	5. Chapter 4: Monster in the Deep

Disclaimer: Naruto does not belong to me, no matter how much I try to delude myself. This story, however, does and that's a fact. J

Please keep reviewing! It's a huge encouragement!

Chapter 4: Monster in the Deep

Sasuke sat, cross-legged, with a frown.

_"…And once you cross over, you can't come back."_

The words repeated themselves in his thoughts.

He looked across the horizon where there was nothing except forbidding darkness. Try as he might to feel brave, there were cracks in his courage. It was a fact that he dealt with death constantly. He may have even wished for it a couple of times. But he had never actually been so close to it as he was now. His brush in the forest with Orochimaru, his fights with Gaara and Itachi… Those instances seem to pale in comparison with this.

According to the shadow, if he went, his chances of returning were slim to none. Mostly none.

Logic said to leave. Return to Konoha and continue training. It would only be two more years until he reached eighteen anyway. Besides, if he went to the Land of the Dead, he would throw away his chance to defeat Itachi, throw away his chance to really become an avenger. It really wasn't worth it. In perspective, he had known Sakura for only a few years whereas he had spent his whole life seeking revenge.

Sakura was only a girl. One girl out of hundreds in Konoha.

She wasn't a talented ninja. Even if she wasn't weak anymore, she still had to work to keep up with him and Naruto.

She wasn't exceptionally beautiful. Even if Rock Lee and Naruto thought otherwise, Sasuke was sure he had seen better, although none with the same fierce love she bore for her comrades.

And she wasn't particularly smart, either. She had chased after him for a long time, after all, when he had nothing to give.

The more morbid side of him said they would meet again eventually anyway.

Every part of him wanted to leave, except for one. The part that he often hid beneath a demeanor of coldness, the part that understood Sakura's worth. He thought back to Kakashi.

_"Naruto and I are counting on you."_

"Are you giving up now?" 'Naruto' asked. The shadow was no longer aggressive but that made it nonetheless aggravating. Especially those words. Coming from one who looked like his rival, Sasuke couldn't help but scowl.

"No." And that was that.

Decision made, he got to his feet and scanned the river, "You said a boat would be coming. I don't see anything."

"Be patient."

Sasuke couldn't resist the feeling of frustration. He didn't have the luxury of time. Yet, there was nothing he could do but wait to see her again. Unless… His eyes traveled to the black water before him.

The shadow, noticing the direction of his gaze, shook its head, "You can't swim across. You'll be eaten before you even get to the halfway point."

"Eaten? There's a monster in there?"

'Naruto' glanced at him, suddenly sly, "Perhaps."

"How much longer will I have to wait?"

'Naruto' tapped his chin thoughtfully, "Hmmm… These boat trips are rather sporadic. Sometimes, they're every ten minutes, sometimes they're every ten years. Just depends, I suppose."

"Tch, I can't wait that long." He had to get to Sakura before time was up and whatever monster lurked in these dark depths had better think twice before trying to stop him. Having made up his mind, Sasuke walked to the edge, careful to avoid looking too long at its ebony surface. Swimming was probably tolerable but drinking the stuff undoubtedly had a much nastier effect.

Sasuke could sense the shadow watching as he stepped into the black water.

The minute his foot went beneath the ebony surface, he felt sick. Ignoring the nausea, Sasuke forced himself to continue. Deeper and deeper in he went until the liquid touched his neck and the air was putrid all around. Soon, he could barely breathe without wanting to throw up. Everything smelled like dead bodies and blood.

"Oy, how does it feel?" 'Naruto' called out curiously, "I've never been stupid enough to go in so I wouldn't know."

Sasuke couldn't answer. He was too busy struggling to keep afloat. It was strange. Things usually became lighter in water but his whole body felt ten times heavier.

There was pain, too, though he couldn't tell whether it was physical or not.

He swam forward but with every stroke, his skin crawled and he was revolted not so much by the water as by himself. All of a sudden, it occurred to him that he was dirty. Filthy. Something in him was tainted and trying to drag him down with its weight.

Itachi's face suddenly flashed in his mind, too clear and detailed to be only a passing image.

Sasuke jerked and shook his head wildly, but the face wouldn't leave. It glared at him with blood-red eyes and he suddenly remembered those same eyes watching him when he first found his slaughtered parents.

"A man I must kill…"

"I will kill you…"

"Nothing matters so long as I kill him…"

The words were those that lived in his heart. Now, they echoed so audibly and so loudly, pounding into his eardrums, that he wondered if he was going crazy.

Move, _move!_ he told himself frantically when he found himself slowing

Then something grabbed his feet, not pulling him but adding to his weight. It was unnaturally still yet, at the same time, he could feel its intention. It was not letting go.

It was the monster.

Fear gripped him. He could not look down to see what was holding onto him. He did not want to look.

Then there was another sudden tug, more forceful than the last and frighteningly strong. His head moved against his will. Down into the water, down into the darkness, down toward the demon that he feared.

It was himself, skin rotted and features all horribly twisted and ugly. Maggots swarmed in and out of the dead flesh that was covered with the black marks of the curse seal. The skull still had hair but the mouth was empty of teeth. The only parts of the living corpse that looked perfectly intact were the eyes and they were the Sharingan as it had always served Itachi. Red and empty but for a chilling bloodthirstiness.

It was just an illusion, he told himself, frozen, Just an illusi--

The corpse twisted its head to look at him and smiled viciously before tugging down harder.

Sasuke screamed.

It tasted disgusting. The water rushed eagerly into his open mouth, trying to destroy him. He struggled but his limbs soon became too tired to move. Gradually, resistance faded away from body and mind and a terrible ecstasy took hold instead. His eyes closed. He was going to drown. He was going to die.

He was sinking and everything around him was black, black, black…

_She was in a field, humming quietly to herself as she picked flowers, "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine…"_

_He was right behind her. He couldn't see her face, only her back. Odd, her hair was longer here. He was so close that when the soft wind blew, the pink strands brushed against him. _

_Sakura, he wanted to say, I'm right here. Turn around._

_"You make me happy when skies are gray…"_

_Again and again, he called her name before realizing that she couldn't hear him or that the words weren't coming out right._

_So at last, he reached for her. Right before his fingers could clasp tightly around her arm, something pulled him away._

He awoke, coughing violently.

Someone clapped him on the back, "Feeling better there, pal?

"Naruto?" he said dumbly, turning in confusion. The world was shaking ever so slightly, rocking back and forth. He was on a boat.

"Yes… it's Naruto." His eyes fixed on the familiar face. It was smug, "I rescued you. How 'bout some thanks?"

"You're not Naruto."

The shadow quickly clamped its hand on his mouth. Sasuke glared angrily before noticing that 'Naruto' was glancing worriedly at someone behind him. It was an old man with a wooden oar in hand. Apparently, he had been rowing them steadily across the distance. Now though, he had stopped and was gazing at them sharply.

"My friend's tired," the shadow said hastily, "He's probably still out of it. Doesn't have a clue of what he's saying. Tell him that I'm Naruto, would ya, pal?"

Sasuke looked suspiciously at him until finally, the shadow hissed into his ear, "I _saved_ you!"

"So?" He got the distinct impression that shadows weren't usually transported across the river. The old man was still watching them.

There was a second, more compelling whisper, "I can help you find her."

"He's… Naruto."

The old man nodded, returning to movement.

Sasuke turned to the shadow, "What happened?"

'Naruto' seemed more relaxed now that whatever danger the old man posed had passed. Leaning back, he said casually, "Everything that I said would happen. You, being the biggest idiot that I've ever seen, tried to swim across. Halfway through, you went under. Luckily, the boatman had come by then. He let me on and we came to rescue you before you sank too deep and were out of reach."

"I see… Why did you rescue me? You didn't have to."

'Naruto' pretended to be insulted, "I'm a kind person. Can't you just accept that?"

Sasuke snorted, "You were willing to let me drown before. What changed your mind? That old man?"

"Well… more or less, yes," 'Naruto' smiled, "I'll tell you more once we reach the other side."

"You better," Sasuke said before turning away. His back to the false Naruto, he allowed himself a small sigh. His mind was still reeling with what he had seen and he was more shaken than he would admit. Though he refused to show it, he was grateful for the rescue.

"You're still wet. Want a towel?"

"No."

"Ha, didn't have one anyway. And you need more than a towel to get rid of that kind of water."

His hair dripped black drops onto his skin. Sasuke watched them fall onto his arm, making an ironically familiar pattern. It was almost like the curse seal.

"Did you see the monster?" the shadow asked quietly. It was odd to hear the voice so hushed and solemn.

There was a long pause as Sasuke pondered the experience.

"…I saw it."

"Eats you alive, don't it?"

This time, there was no response.

But the shadow saw the pain in the other's face and knew that he had understood.


	6. Chapter 5: Of Willows and Whispers

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. L

Anyways, thank you all SO much for the reviews. The chapter after this will be up ASAP. I promise.

Chapter 5: Of Willows and Whispers

It took only a few minutes for them to reach the other side and most of the trip was spent in silence. Sasuke used the time to study the old man, who appeared harmless and yet was obviously a threat to the shadow.

He looked ordinary enough. Wrinkles, white hair underneath a straw hat, and dull, black eyes. His expression seemed rather placid and devoid of emotion but Sasuke, unlike most people, had never found that sort of thing particularly disturbing. His movements, too, were steady but slow. Nothing suggested that he was a worthy opponent in battle.

It was strange.

There was subtle thud. They had reached the shore of the other side. 'Naruto' let out a shout of joy and stepped onto land eagerly.

Sasuke remained in the boat.

"Ano…" he began carefully, "A girl with pink hair. Did you see her?"

The old man took a deep breath and let it out slowly, "What is your name?"

"Uchiha," he decided to answer.

There was a flicker of recognition in that dried, hollow face, "Uchiha… Sasuke?"

That meant he had seen Sakura. If things went well, perhaps he would tell where she was.

"Hai. That's my name. Where is she?"

"She told me about you and about that one," the old man jerked his thumb toward where the shadow was frolicking, "Uchiha Sasuke. Uzumaki Naruto. To give you both safe passage was her last request before she forgot. And I wouldn't have performed it if she hadn't begged with all her heart and paid the price."

There was something in his manner of speech that made Sasuke pause. Something in his words that made him feel guilty and ashamed. But as he was in habit of doing, he pushed away his feelings to focus on his goal, "Where is she?"

But the old man had begun rowing the boat and to avoid being taken back to the place from which he had come, Sasuke was forced to leap out. As his feet hit solid ground, he called out angrily after the vanishing boat, "You still haven't answered my question, old man! Where is Sa--!"

He stopped, gritting his teeth. He could barely see the outline of the boat anymore. Words floated back to him, though, and they were soft on the wind and hard on the ear, "Be grateful, boy. She loved you deeply, she did..."

Sasuke clenched his fists, letting his eyes drop to the ground in frustration.

"I owe this girl, too. I ought to thank her. We both do, don't you think?" someone drawled. Sasuke turned to see 'Naruto' waiting for him with a smirk, "Neither of us couldn't have gotten across without her help."

The sight of those blue, devilish eyes reminded Sasuke of his other questions. He regarded the shadow with guarded suspicion, "Why were you afraid of that old man?"

"My goodness, haven't you already figured it out already?"

He had, of course. Part of it, anyway, "You're not supposed to be here."

"Exactly," 'Naruto' grinned, "To put it simply, it's against the rules."

It was almost ironic. The real Naruto had never been one for following the rules either. Nevertheless, as he stared at his teammate's face, which was contorted by a darkness that was felt rather than seen, Sasuke felt that the rules that had been broken were far more important than 'Thou shalt not paint on the Hokage monuments'.

"We shadows, you see, lack our own identities. Because of that, we can't get across."

"Why do you lack identities?"

For a brief instant, there was a forlorn look on 'Naruto's' face. He said softly, "Well, shadows weren't always just shadows. _I_ wasn't always a shadow. Once, I was someone with a past and a life… It's a sad story, really…"

But Sasuke wasn't one for sad stories, not when he had already lived one. Not when he was facing the possibility of reliving one. With casual indifference, he left 'Naruto' and walked along the shore.

After some exploring, he discovered that there was only one path to follow. As much as he journeyed, no matter which direction he took, he always found himself back at the same path. It was one that led into a forest. With no other option, Sasuke began to follow it.

There were trees on both sides and occasionally in the middle of the path. There was such a wide variety of them that it made the place seem even more unnatural. Tall, fir trees that stretched defiantly upward but were bare of leaves. Small, stunted ones that looked pitiful and elicited scorn. Crooked and gnarled trees whose twisted appearances suggested evil. And an infinite number of willows, swaying as some invisible wind blew through their hanging vines… They were weeping, weeping…

There was somebody ahead in the distance. Sasuke saw that it was a middle-aged man, kneeling on the path. In his hand was a brown purse and scattered around him, lying dully on the ground, were shards of glass.

He was sobbing violently, hopelessly, as if all the pain in the world had been afflicted on him. Tears streamed down his cheeks and he hunched himself even further until his head touched the ground.

Sasuke was tempted to walk past but the guy seemed to be in desperate need. Cursing his feet as they took him closer, he was soon kneeling by the fallen man. Contrary to belief, he sometimes wasn't as heartless as he wished he could be.

"Hey, are you okay?"

The man ignored him, lost in his weeping.

The glass pieces were forgotten. Were it not for their monotonous color, they would have been beautiful although somewhat large. Apparently, they had come from something whole that had shattered upon hitting the ground. Sasuke reached to pick one up but then stopped, wondering at irrational impulse. It was just glass. Ugly, colorless glass, at that.

But as he stared at them, each shard seemed extremely important. How foolish to let them lie so carelessly. He reached again but stopped once more. This time, however, it was because it felt inappropriate to touch them. They were not his.

He looked at the man and thought he had never seen anyone as weak.

"Neh," he was suddenly compelled to say, "Aren't you going to pick them up?"

The man turned his head slowly and Sasuke was chilled by the emptiness in his eyes. He had seen lack of emotion before but this guy… It was as if his soul had spilled out of him, leaving a husk behind that meant nothing.

"Aren't you going to pick them up?" he asked again and the man shuddered at the question.

"No, no… I can't… I mean, I don't want to… I don't want to…"

"But… they're fading."

Indeed, the pieces were disappearing, blending into the ground until they vanished completely. Sasuke felt an inexplicable sense of loss. When the last had gone, the man suddenly let out a final groan of pain.

Limbs stretched to inhuman lengths and became a hard brown. Hair drooped and was a dreary, tasteless green that brushed against the ground. A face was lost and a tree was born crying. Sasuke stared at the vines that hung listlessly, surrounding him in a circle but not touching him.

All that was left of the man was a weeping willow and melancholy whispers.

"I wasted my life…"

They were whispers of sorrow, whispers of regret. Underneath the willow, Sasuke, trapped and trembling, could hear them all.

"I was so alone… So alone…"

Days of eating breakfast by himself, forcing the food down as the silence, in turn, devoured him. Nights of lying awake, thinking of people and conversations he had taken for granted. Years of returning home to a sad, dark house where he was always the first to come home and the first to leave....

"What had I done wrong…"

Memories of a family stolen from him because he had not been strong enough.

"Noone to love…"

Memories of a brother whom he once loved but could no longer love without hating himself.

"Noone to be loved by…"

But at this, he thought, _Sakura_, and then _Naruto. Kakashi._

He thought of them, waiting with faith for his return, and of her, standing lost in that field of flowers.

_"Please don't take my sunshine away…"_

_"…we'll be back soon and when we are, let's go some ramen, ok?"_

_"Sasuke-kun…"_

His eyes hardened and his mouth set grimly. Iie. He would not let her slip away to sing that bittersweet song for the rest of eternity.

He had to find her.

Somehow, Sasuke found the strength to push aside the vines and leave.


	7. Chapter 6: The Familiar Stranger II

Chapter 6: The Familiar Stranger II

Sasuke had learned as a child that solitude was one of the worst companions a person could have. And as he walked down the long, twisting road beneath the grayness that was the sky in the Land of the Dead, it seemed as if he had been friends with loneliness for far too long.

Even with Kakashi and Naruto, there was always a barrier. It wasn't so much their fault as it was his own. They would give their lives for him if the need ever arose. He felt the loyalty instinctively. They were that kind of people. Yet, there would always be a certain reluctance that he could never overcome.

It wasn't that he wanted to be lonely. It was unfathomable to his mind that such a desire would ever exist in anyone.

But he could never let them see what was truly in his heart, never let them see how truly encompassed by darkness his soul was. They would never understand the black and deep desires that lurked beneath the surface. They would never understand how he yearned for his own death at the same time he yearned to drench himself in Itachi's blood. They would never understand how terrified he was of life and of living it. In the end, they would never understand the weaknesses of his heart…

He thought of raindrops and green eyes.

Sakura…

Was she like them?

Iie. She was not like them; she had seen.

He was certain of it even if the only reason she had seen was because he had willingly showed her. Starting in the Forest of Death, she had witnessed his failure. He still remembered the expression of fear that she had worn the first time she had encountered the darkness inside him. She looked as if she had seen a monster, full of terrified tears and trembling. Black, morbid marks had covered his face and body. That alone should have been enough to keep her away. His eyes, too, had been hungry for blood.

But the memory, full of rage and frenzy, was accompanied with a brief instant of tranquil calm. He had felt her arms around him, felt her fear, and, at the same time, her acknowledgement and acceptance.

She had not run away.

After everything he had ever done, after all the cruelty he had willingly inflicted on her… she had not run away. She had not yelled. She had not criticized. Only worried and suffered, always drawing on a patient love.

And above all, she had stayed. The fact was more dear to him than he realized.

Even after seeing the flaws that lay beneath the genius and good looks, even after being treated firsthand to how cold-hearted he could be, she had not abandoned him. And in the end, only she knew. Only she knew how truly weak he was when it came to other things besides fighting, how truly frightened he could be of losing himself to evil and how afraid he was of goodness…

And yet, still and always, she believed in him more than he believed in himself.

Sasuke could not think of anyone in his life who had ever treated him that way. He could not think of anyone else who had ever loved him so faithfully, so completely.

Then… was that why he was here? Because she had loved him that way?

There was more to it, he suspected, but his thoughts were interrupted by the sound of footsteps.

"Waaaiiittt for me!" a familiar voice called.

Sasuke glanced back to see 'Naruto' running up to him.

"You know, it was rather rude of you to just leave me hang—"

"You said you would help me find her," Sasuke cut in sharply, studying the dilemma before him. He had stopped at a split in the road and there were no signs to tell him which way to go, "Which path do I pick?"

Before the shadow could answer, someone offered, "Perhaps I can help."

The voice was light and carried by the wind. Sweet and soft, but nonetheless surprising.

'Naruto' jumped and Sasuke reached quickly for a weapon. He scanned the trees for possible enemies until his instinct finally directed his gaze to one spot. _There. Underneath that willow tree. _It was rather difficult to distinguish him but Sasuke was certain there was someone standing there underneath the hanging branches. No doubt about it.

"Show yourself!" he demanded and when his request was unanswered, he flung his kunai at the motionless figure.

It was caught neatly. Sasuke prepared himself for confrontation.

The enemy moved forward slowly, elegantly brushing aside the willow's hanging boughs. At first glance, it looked like a woman. The features were fine and the hair was long and black. Even the smile was beautiful in a feminine way.

But the kunai that was held easily between two fingers was not beautiful at all.

Sasuke knew who this person was and he didn't like it one bit. "You," he said, recoiling slightly.

"Hello. I didn't think I would see you again so soon," came the casual response.

'Naruto' stared at the newcomer with obvious admiration, "You're hot!"

A pair of calm eyes fixed themselves on the false copy, "And you're not really Naruto-kun, are you?"

The question was delivered in a kind, gentle tone but the shadow shrunk back in fear nonetheless. The blue eyes that had lit up with interest abruptly became full of malice. With his disguise revealed, 'Naruto' scowled hatefully, not really looking like Naruto at all.

"Thought so. Naruto-kun would never frown as ugly as that."

The shadow snarled, stepping forward with clenched fists, "Would Naruto rip that pretty smile off your face?"

"Harmless threats," Haku dismissed, amused, "But you do share Naruto-kun's temper. How cute."

"You— you—" spluttered the shadow, not knowing whether to interpret the remark as a compliment or insult.

"Oy, Faker… Shut up."

Haku returned his gaze toward the black-haired boy that had originally caught his attention. The expression on the other's face was fierce and cautious. It reminded him of Zabuza; he hid his sadness before asking, "Who are you looking for?"

"Why are you willing to help me?"

So he remembered their last fight, too. There was a clear mistrust in those black eyes. But Haku peered deeper, past the shield and into his soul, and found that they stood on common ground, "Because we are the same, you and I… I am also looking for someone precious."

Sasuke bit his lip.

Sensing hesitation, Haku added reassuringly, "Don't worry. In the Land of the Dead, one doesn't really hold grudges. I bid you no ill feeling for what happened. Now tell me, who are you looking for? Perhaps I've seen them. I've been on this road for a long, long time…"

It seemed a while before the boy spoke again. When he did, it was with a final, begrudging resignation, "I'm looking for a girl with pink hair. Which path did she go down?"

He remembered her. A girl with happy, green eyes. Her soul had not been complete, though. Nevertheless, she had gone down the right path that those with good, clean hearts were prone to go. The left was for those with lesser hearts, those who deserved to suffer for their actions.

Haku pointed accordingly, "She went that way."

The boy walked in the right direction, not saying thank you, not looking back. But Haku didn't mind. What he wanted wasn't gratitude. After all, everything he had ever done had always been for one person. The one closest to his heart.

He knew he could follow the boy and forget his burden but what he wanted wasn't paradise either. It was simply…

"Zabuza-san…" Haku said softly, "I helped another person. Is that enough? Can I see you now?"

No one answered. No one appeared. He remained alone on the road.

Yet, he refused to believe that an eternity would pass without the possibility of reunion. Someday, he would see the face of his precious person. All he had to do was wait for that day to come.

He would never stop waiting.


	8. Chapter 6: Questions and No Answers

Chapter 6.5: Questions and No Answers

_"I am also looking for someone precious."_

Undoubtedly, that could only mean one person. Sasuke recalled a masked face and a deadly sword. The missing-nin that had nearly killed Kakashi. The one he and Naruto had risked their lives to defeat.

But… that guy was already dead.

"Neh, what happens to bad people?" he asked quietly.

The shadow thought for a moment before answering, "Different things can happen to them. They either stand on the other side for eternity as shadows without identities or they try to swim across and drown in the process."

"The man Haku is waiting for was a bad person. He already died but they have yet to see other again. What does that mean?"

"It means they'll never see each other again, of course."

Sasuke glanced back at the patient figure of Haku and swallowed deep. The gentle boy stood solidly in the distance, never moving, always hoping. The image struck him as terribly tragic and unfair. What had that criminal done to warrant such faithfulness?

…Had Sakura suffered like that when he had left to betray the Leaf?

The question rose abruptly to the surface of his mind and jolted him. It was the first time he had ever given it thought. After all, he'd never really cared about her feelings before. Well, that wasn't completely true. He knew her emotional state was fragile and in rare instance, he had taken steps to keep her from breaking completely. For the most part though, he had always been more focused in ensuring her physical safety.

Maybe… maybe it was because it didn't matter to him how she was feeling… so long as she was just there.

But now, she was no longer 'just there'. And now, he couldn't help but remember the night he had left. He couldn't help but wonder at the misery he had inflicted.

Had she, too, clung blindly to hope? If so, what had he done to deserve it?

She probably cried in his absence. He was quite certain of it. Always in the past, it seemed, she had been crying for him.

_Sakura, why did you bother? _

He wished he knew the reason. He wished he had the courage to ask her when he found her. Someone like him just didn't seem to be worth so much pain.

The road before him was long and winding. With every step, he could feel the pressing of silent regrets and the awakening of unspoken fears.

_If I died… would I see you again? _


	9. Chapter 7: Home Sweet Home

Chapter 7: Home Sweet Home

"Neh, neh, that girl you're searching for… is she beautiful?"

The desire in those blue eyes was not unfamiliar. But this was not Naruto, who genuinely cared and loved with all his heart. Sasuke frowned and said, deliberately harsh, "No. She's hideous. Not your type, at all."

--------

"Why is she so important to you? Do you lo—"

"Shut up."

--------

Aside from the bothersome questions, Sasuke was almost glad for the shadow's momentary companionship. It wasn't that he was afraid of being by himself in this strange, dark place but that there were things that he would prefer not think about. Or rather, people. To his dismay, he was finding that his past with Sakura had deeper roots in his soul than he had realized.

Conveniently, 'Naruto' distracted him by being the object of his annoyance.

The shadow would ask some idiot question, usually one that involved Sakura and her looks, and he would respond bluntly with 'Shut up'. It was almost like being with the real Naruto in some ways.

Then again, he wouldn't feel suspicious around the real 'Naruto'. Nor uneasy if he had been the one talking about Sakura.

"Hey, there's something up ahead," the shadow squinted at the distance.

Sasuke stopped and stared. Black eyes filled with recognition, confusion, and faint shock. Contemplations of his teammates were immediately halted and replaced with a single thought. _It couldn't be… _

"Looks like a house. Should we go check it ou—hey!" the shadow yelled in frustration at once again being left behind.

Had Sasuke heard, he would've been reminded yet again of the real Naruto. But as he was too busy moving forward, too shocked to even care about any response but his own at the moment, he never heard a word.

The shadow glared at the back of the figure that was running so urgently away from him. It had been the first time since their meeting that he had ever seen such a loose expression on the boy's face. A visible flash of horror and pain had come across the other's beautiful features. But the indignity of being abandoned again made the shadow more inclined to be hateful than sympathetic.

"Don't be so hasty, you bastard," 'Naruto' muttered before following.

--------

The door opened with a familiar click. Sasuke paused before entering as he assessed the possibility of enemies and an ambush. The thought calmed him and made him less rash and more cautious. He felt himself regaining a bit of the control he had lost earlier.

A few, steady breathes and his mind was clear again. Surely, this was just some trick, he thought. He withdrew a kunai and was reassured by the feel of the stainless metal against his fingers.

Sasuke stepped into his house, not bothering to take off his shoes.

The hallway before him was one he had traveled many times. The same, mahogany floor. The same, blue wallpaper. The same, long journey to a kitchen where there was noone except himself for company…

He made sure to keep his footsteps muted and his nerves calm. The setting was disturbing, to be sure, but if he had to fight, he would not hesitate to shed blood under his own roof.

Well, it wasn't _really_ his house anyway.

In a few minutes, he had reached his kitchen. Dark wood gave away to white tiles. The room had windows and was full of sunlight. The rays struck the sink and counter unmercifully, giving a clean and pleasant aura.

_Behind you._

Instinct going off, he whirled around, ready to plunge his kunai into someone's heart and cause an early death.

"Sasuke…"

His mother's voice was like the sound of a tinkling stream. Musical without being loud.

It had been eight years since he had last heard it.

His arm halted mid-air. His heart seemed to stop as well. He could not breathe. He felt numb, as if all the blood in his body had been replaced with ice and the result was a distant feeling that should've been pain.

_It can't be_, he thought frantically.

But it was. She was standing a few feet away, dish in one hand and a washrag in another, wearing a bright, red apron and looking at him with questioning eyes.

"Sasuke… what are you doing here?"

"Who's here?" someone asked from inside the kitchen. His father's voice was lower than he remembered, "Is it the Hokage?"

"Why would someone as important as the Hokage want to see you?" his mother replied in a teasing tone. With a spreading smile, she announced, "It's Sasuke. If you haven't forgotten, he's our son. Now don't just stand there, Sasuke. Come see your father. It's been such a long time, after all."

Without waiting for a response, she grabbed his hand and led him to the living room. He felt her fingers and drew in a breath in disbelief. They were the fingers of a mother. When he was a child before he had lost his home, he had never appreciated it. This simple grasp, firm and friendly, full of love and reassurance. During the sad days and cold nights, he had often remembered it. And now, sixteen and almost a man, he couldn't help but feel as if this was something he could die for.

The living room was much more colorful than it was back in the real world. More warm, too. He tried not to stare.

His father was waiting for him. Upon seeing him, time seemed to freeze for Sasuke.

In one instant, with his mother's hand around his own and his father beaming down at him, his childhood returned. With a fierce, unrelenting rush, all his emotions were released. All his barriers came crashing down. Humanity clawed its way back into the heart of a lost son and Itachi no longer existed.

Sasuke's attempt at keeping still failed; he trembled like crazy as he waited for something to be said.

"It's been a long time, Sasuke," his father, smiling, echoed his mother's words.

But they only said it because it was so true. The distance between them hurt too deeply for it to be a lie. Truly, he thought, more dazed than he had felt in years, it had been too long…

Then his mother hugged him and the kunai fell to the ground, forgotten.

---------

The boy really was a fool.

The shadow watched impassively as father and son were reunited.

The man beamed proudly, placed a hand in the other's hair and mussed it affectionately.

The walls prevented him from hearing what was being said but the shadow could tell the nature of the conversation from the happy smiles. More importantly, from the look in the boy's eyes. He wasn't smiling, but there was a tangible emotion there that was different from the usual resignation and glumness.

Happiness? Maybe, he wasn't too sure. Happiness seemed too out-of-place for that one.

The shadow couldn't understand it. __

The boy had shown himself to be strong in combat. He was an intimidating foe with a subtle yet crafty mind. Of course, there had always been a certain essence of doom hanging around him, a silence of someone struggling to live as if power had come at the cost of something more important. But in the shadow's opinion, it was a worthy trade-off.

Yet, now…

After earning such respect, it was as if he was throwing it all away, as if he was giving up all his logic for one pathetic, impossible, hopeless illusion…

_Idiot, why are you happy? They're still dead._

Had the shadow known that Uchiha Sasuke was a man-made orphan who had lost these dear people to a murderer he once called brother, it might have understood. Had it known that he had grown up without a mother's accepting love and a father's wise guidance, relying instead on vengeance to give meaning to his life, it might have made sense. It might have even realized that the look in Sasuke's eyes was similar to a child recognizing that he loved his family for the first time…

But it didn't know and it didn't care, and because of this, the shadow was displeased. It turned away with a flash of annoyance from the scenes of reunion.

"You fool…"

The boy was becoming trapped in a dream.


	10. Chapter 8: Dinner Interlude

Ok, thanks to Zysch, I've removed the log-on review thing. I was curious to see if more people were reading this. If I have a bigger audience than I thought, I might update faster (;; Cheap way to get reviews, I know) But anyways, if you've been reading and didn't want log on to review, please give a review now!

Chapter 8: Dinner Interlude

He could feel the steam rising from his bowl. The rice looked good, moist and clumped together but not hard. He was sure it was soft.

"Sasuke," his mother suddenly said with worry in her eyes. She stopped scooping out rice for her husband, "You're not eating. Is something the matter?"

He flushed, not knowing how to answer. In the living room, it had been easier when his father had done all the welcoming and his mother all the friendly chatter. But at being directly addressed, he was clueless how to respond. Could they tell? That he was no longer the same child he had been all those years ago?

"Sasuke?" his father prompted.

Strange how he had missed these people for so long and now that they were all together again, he didn't know how to act. Not at all. "No… I just…" he muttered, trying not to seem rude, "Neither of you has eaten yet."

"There's no need to be so polite!" his mother exclaimed, radiating humor, "You're with family now."

Her words had been meant as encouragement to eat but they had a bigger effect than was intended. _Family._

Sasuke faltered. Visibly.

Something, maybe the mask he had worn for so long, crumbled and unbeknownst to him, a look of utter longing had taken over his face. He was gazing at them with raw emotion… like a hungry creature that had been given a crumb… as if he could not believe the fortune he had now, having suffered for so long without it… as if they were the most precious things in the world to him.

The mother was struck by her son's expression.

It had been so long since they last saw Sasuke. She had to admit that the change had startled her at first. He had appeared a young man when before, he had been their dearest child. The one who had disdainfully shrugged off her attempts at babying him and who had complained of not being strong. It hadn't been too difficult to accept, really; after all, every child must grow up someday.

Yet, that look… It suggested that the change had been much deeper, far beyond age and appearance. He seemed a man, but was now a man with the look of a hurting child that had been wounded by an enemy. If she had known the truth, she would've known that the wound had been betrayal and that the enemy had been a loved one. But all she knew was that look and it was so painfully vulnerable, so silently wistful that she wanted to turn to her husband and ask, "What happened to our son to make him look at us like that?"

A sudden ache sprang up within her. She wanted to hug her child and protect him from whatever had made him so sad. But the silence had dragged on for too long so she said instead, with significant gentleness, "Eat, Sasuke."

"H-hai."

He took his chopsticks, feeling more timid than he had ever felt in his life. They were looking at him with concern again and to appease them, he ate a bit of rice. It was warm and chewy, just as he had imagined.

"How is it?"

"Fine…" Feeling that an inadequate compliment, he amended, "Good."

"I'm glad. You can have as much as you want, Sasuke."

"Arigatou… Okaa-san."

Too troubled, she didn't catch the last word. But then again, he had whispered it.

----------

He was wearier than he had expected. Sasuke had left hours ago. Twenty-three hours and thirty minutes, to be precise. It was true that he had exceptional chakra stamina but this was almost getting ridiculous. He wondered how he was able to stay conscious after expending so much energy.

Maybe he wouldn't last.

His hand, resting on Sakura's head, twitched slightly before the feel of soft strands reassured him.

Iie. He had to last. He had promised, he had sworn. He would never let another comrade die.

"Kakashi…"

He turned to see a disturbing sight.

Tsunade was looking at Sasuke's still body and frowning.

"His chakra… Until a few minutes ago, it was low but consistent."

"And now?"

"And now it's dropping," she replied, eyes darkening with concern, "I don't know enough about this jutsu to tell if this is normal or acceptable. But I have a bad feeling that it's not. Chakra, it seems, is what binds the soul to the body. If his chakra continues to decrease, Sasuke may not make it."

_Too sudden._ That was his first thought. The bad news was too sudden. He was too exhausted. She should have waited until he was strong enough to take it. Kakashi tried to react, but the sight of his students lying immobile on the ground like living corpses was enough to cause him to reject any sort of emotion. He looked from Sasuke back to Sakura and then to the corner where Naruto was.

Memories that he had long tried to forget flooded back to him and soon, one thought blocked out others.

_No… It couldn't be happening again… Not again… _

Somehow, one word found its way to his lips and he delivered it simply, distantly, emotionlessly, but somehow with all the pain he had ever felt in his life,

"Why?"

Their eyes met, the bond of loss uniting them in one brief instant.

And the Fifth Hokage was unable to answer.

----------

Special thanks to Nakoya Moonwind, rhiannon 38, fireblazie, and Lady Light, my consistent reviewers! You guys are awesome!


	11. Chapter 9: Rude Awakening

Thanks again to all my reviewers!

I want to clarify things… but I'm afraid of giving away the plot. Anyways, keep asking questions! They help me think and everyone knows that thinking is a good thing.

Chapter 9: Rude Awakening

Sasuke was starting on his second bowl when someone knocked on the door. Hard. Thump, thump, thump…Like a monster demanding to be let in. He paused in his meal to grit his teeth in dread and anger. He had a feeling he knew who was at the door.

His parents looked at each other in surprise.

"Now who do you think that would be?" his mother exclaimed, "Banging on our door like that!"

"Must be the Hokage," his father said knowingly, "He said he was coming to see me."

"Yeah, right," his mother snorted.

"I'm telling the truth. Why don't you ever believe me?"

"The Hokage wouldn't be so rude," his mother said decisively, rising to answer the obnoxious knocks.

A second later, and Sasuke found himself joined by a familiar stranger.

"Oy, Sasuke!" Blonde hair popped into view from around the hallway, followed by a pair of devious, blue eyes. The shadow plopped himself in the extra chair, looked at the full table, and grinned, "Enjoying a nice, hot meal without me?"

His father looked curiously at the newcomer, "Now who is this?"

"Nobody important," Sasuke said quickly before delivering a curt order to the shadow, "Get out of here."

"But Sasuke! I'm your best friend!" 'Naruto' pretended to look horrified, "Some food and you've already forgotten about me? Don't tell me you're going to forsake our friendship over a bowl of rice!" He added as an afterthought, "It _does_ look good though…"

His mother, who had returned by this time, offered politely, "Would you like some?"

"Don't mind if I do!" the shadow said cheerfully, picking up chopsticks while she scooped a bowlful.

His father lifted an eyebrow, amused, "He's your friend, Sasuke? Rather spunky."

"Yep, I'm quite spunky!" 'Naruto' beamed, "The name's Naruto."

His father's courteous grin became an uneasy frown. "Naruto…" the name was pronounced slowly with some hesitation, "It sounds distinctly familiar…"

"Here you go, Naruto-kun," his mother offered, holding out a filled bowl.

It leaned eagerly toward her, "Why thank you, ma'am—"

Sasuke stood up and forcefully knocked his hand away. His parents froze, startled.

The shadow's face changed instantly from friendly to furious. 'Naruto' glared at him, hissing with venom, "What the hell was that for?"

"Get out."

His voice was cold and heated at the same time. Cold, because it was his nature to be so when he was angry. And heated because rage was driving him and as he had done so many times before, he was giving himself over to it.

"Fuckin' bastard, who do you think you—"

Sasuke picked up a knife from the table. Though he could feel his blood rushing and his pulse accelerating from fury, he managed to speak calmly, "I won't tolerate such… filth in this house. Not here. Not now. I won't have you sit at the same table with them. Not you. You don't deserve to sit with them."

There was a pause and then, with biting conviction, "You're not Naruto."

The shadow eyed the blade warily. It was only a regular cutting knife but the boy seemed absolutely livid as if the shadow had violated something religious. _Psh. Foolish boy. Don't fool yourself into living a fantasy._ In any case, though, the boy was dangerous now. His temper colored his every feature and action. A wrong step and those dark eyes promised nothing but that it would regret it.

The shadow decided to back away. With a quick glance at the adults, it said before disappearing into the hallway, "Gomen. It seems as if I'm not welcome here."

Sasuke growled and followed. He wasn't done. He wanted to make one more thing clear.

"If you ever come back, I'll kill you."

The shadow stopped in his tracks. Then slowly, deliberately, it turned around to reveal a hideous grin.

"That's an interesting threat, coming from you. Where do you think you are?" 'Naruto' gestured with a chuckle to the surroundings, "In case you've forgotten, let me remind you. You're in the Land of the Dead—

"Shut up!"

"--where everything and _everyone_ is nothing more than a memory or a corpse in the real world—"

"SHUT UP!" Sasuke could not understand why he was suddenly so scared.

"That's right," 'Naruto' smirked, "None of this exists in the real world. Those people you love so much? I'm sorry to break it you, but they're dead. And what you have now is just some sick, twisted version of life. Some sad, little orphan's dream of a home and dead parents."

"They're NOT…" Sasuke began angrily before coming to a sudden halt as he realized that he was trying to deny the truth. For one horrible moment, as he fumbled for words, he saw his own denial and his own desperate lie. What _had _he been thinking? Had he honestly thought that they were anything but what Itachi had done to them?

Everything, like a bad movie, rushed back to him.

That night under the full moon… The bodies laying out in the courtyard… His parents, not smiling, not talking, just lying there… So, horribly, horribly still… And the person responsible, covered in shadows, turning to look at him with empty, red eyes…

_…Itachi… How could I have forgotten?_

The burden returned. He felt as heavy as he had in the dark water, as if all the strength had drained out of him.

"Oh, come on. Who are you fooling? I know you're smart. You know the outcome of your little fantasy, just as well as I do. Believe me, something unnatural like this… It won't last. But go on. Keep living your little dream, boy. I won't stop you, but just remember, you're going to have to wake up sometime. And when you do, it's gonna _hurt._"

The shadow paused. The knife was at its throat, quivering, barely restrained.

The boy was breathing hard, eyes filled with the light of an unwanted awakening that this shadow was the cause of. "They're not…" he repeated but there was no terrifying threat, no certainty in that face anymore. It had been replaced by a mix of pain and doubt.

And then there was only pain.

"Sasuke."

It was his mother. He couldn't shed blood in front of her. He stepped backward automatically.

The shadow began to laugh.

But even if it was Naruto's face, it wasn't Naruto's laugh. It wasn't honest and funny, if a bit idiotic. It was a cruel, taunting, "I-know-something-that-can-break-you" laugh. Clenching the blade until it cut into his skin and red blood rushed down his palm, Sasuke realized that he hated this evil thing before him.

Smirking, the shadow gave him a little wave before exiting out the door, knowing exactly what kind of destruction it had just caused, "Goodbye, Sasuke-kun…"

--------

The door shut with an air of finality. She knew now that the thing she had let in had not been a friend. A part of her wanted to chase after it and destroy it before it caused more harm elsewhere. She could feel a subtle fury radiating from her husband and knew that he felt the same way.

But her main focus remained on her son.

He said nothing.

Instead, he stood there, for a long time, simply gazing at the puddle of blood at his feet.

The silence was hard to take.

She didn't have to wonder what he was thinking because that knowledge was a mother's intuition. The urge to embrace him came again and she fought it with foolish reasoning. A man would reject a silly hug.

But she had never seen a man who looked as her son did. She had never seen a man so broken and so utterly tired. The longer she stared, the more she felt that her logic was wrong. It was as if her eyes were connecting her to the hidden emotions of her son, hidden because for some reason, his actions and words had become so much harder to read since she had last seen him. But in the silence…. where his mouth was slightly open and every line of his face etched with shock because he hadn't realized the truth until now… Well, the silence told her everything.

_Hadn't he known?_ she thought desperately, _But even if he did know, why was he still hurting?_

And he was hurting so much… more than he could take, she knew that even if she didn't know the reason… but it was…more than she could take as well… like her heart was being torn right out of her chest, leaving a giant, gaping hole of nothing…

"Sasuke…" Unable to keep silent any longer, his mother choked out his name.

It was the way she said his name, tortured, that caught his attention.

He looked up, but the expression in his eyes was blank, as if he was seeing through them, as if he could no longer bear to be human and had decided on something else.

She covered her mouth in anguish for the lack of recognition hurt her more than the silence. And his tears, oh gods, was he crying without realizing it, hurt her more than anything in the world, living or dead. Death, torture, hunger… She could bear anything but this sad, little boy who wept, wide-eyed and soundlessly, for nothing and for everything… this little boy who was her _son_…

With a sob, she moved forward to embrace him, repeating his name over and over again, "Sasuke… Sasuke… oh Sasuke, _what _happened to you… ?"__

But he did not speak, could not speak, and the tears continued to fall like rain and the question, more felt than voiced, lingered like a ghost.


	12. Chapter 10: The Second Day

The Second Day

Upon regaining consciousness, the first words he said were surprising. Yet, at the same time, considering their speaker, they were not surprising at all. The speaker, of course, was Naruto and when he woke on the second day, he screamed with characteristic eagerness,

"WHERE'S THE RAMEN??!!"

His excited voice was like electricity renewing the dark, small room. Tsunade, who had been keeping a relentless watch over Sasuke, felt a slight smile touch her lips. Kakashi's shoulders slumped ever so slightly in relief, knowing that at least one of his students would be ok. Then they both turned his head to watch Konoha's number one hyperactive ninja sit upright, rip off his bandages, and rub his eyes drowsily.

"Welcome back," the Fifth Hokage said.

"It's good to be back!" he replied cheerfully, not noticing her weariness. He scrunched up his face into a grin, "Now where's Sakura-chan, I just had the weirdest dream about ramen and now I'm hungry. Hope the ramen shop's op—"

He stopped.

Kakashi averted his eyes. It would be painful to watch him remember.

Tsunade said quickly, "There's still hope. Don't give up yet, Naruto." She watched keenly for his reaction.

The light that had faded from his eyes returned abruptly and he said, mustering up his confidence in typical Naruto fashion, "Of course not! Hokages never give up! So how can I do it when I'm going to be your successor, you old hag?"

And he laughed weakly, trying to mask the pain that had crippled him only seconds ago.

_How can he make jokes at a time like this, that idiot!_

But the Fifth Hokage halted her fury long enough to realize that his eyes were completely empty of mirth and full of suffering. He was gazing at Sakura's still body and his face, normally so strong and proud, was now terribly weak in some unexplainable way. She calmed herself down enough to feel a pang of sympathy when he walked, with shaky and hesitant steps, toward his teacher and unconscious teammate.

"Oy," his teacher said, not turning his head but somehow still offering a tired grin, "Nice rest?"

"Kakashi-sensei…" His voice was too timid, too frightened to be Naruto.

He sighed patiently, "Just say it, Naruto."

"How is she… is she—" He couldn't. His face crumpled completely and he clenched his teeth, trying to fight something unseen, something that still managed to tear his heart to shreds.

She left the Uchiha's side to sit next to him, to place a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

"I thought it was just a nightmare… I thought that we could go out for ramen like usual…"

"It's all up to Sasuke now. If he can bring her back, then everything will be ok," Kakashi said and he went on to explain the situation. How Sasuke had undergone the forbidden jutsu and had traveled into the realm of the dead. How he was risking everything to rescue Sakura and how right now, he was in danger of losing it all…

"His chakra's decreasing slowly but gradually," Tsunade said to Naruto, who had become unusually silent, "I don't want to say it… but there's a chance that he might not make it." She paused, hoping that he would not be too overwhelmed.

Then, fiercely, "No."

She looked at him in surprise. The conviction with which he spoke somehow made her words, the words of a Konoha's most commendable medical specialist, seem less likely.

_Tch. Of course. He's Naruto. He has that effect on people. _

But she was heartened nevertheless.

"He has to come back. He _will _come back."

-----------

Hours had passed since the shadow had wrecked the illusion and in that time, he had gone from standing in blood in the living room to lying listlessly on his bed. His parents had led him here in an attempt to give him time to think.

They knew. They were dead and they knew.

They just didn't know why or how or when. Their memories, it seemed, were clear up to a certain point. And past that, there was nothing.

Do you know? Sasuke had asked in dread.

Probably a mission, his father had shrugged, but there had been a hint of doubt in his voice.

His mother had furrowed her brow, trying desperately to recall something, anything… Then, at last, she came up with…

Somebody. I may be wrong, but I think there was somebody important involved.__

His brother's name had been on the tip of his tongue, but he had held it back, tormented yet unwilling to taint them with the truth.

Do you know, Sasuke?

His throat dry, he had lied, A mission. Type A. You two died bravely.

They thought he had died that way, too, and he could not tell them otherwise without breaking their hearts and his own.

The ceiling was white and as empty as his mind. He had been staring at it for too long, he thought and then decided to close his eyes. Within seconds, his entire body had relaxed and his muscles were pleasantly resting.

It amazed him how he could feel so comfortable in this place. His room, if anything, was a stranger. Without looking, he knew that it was filled with trinkets and souvenirs from a past that had almost been erased. A teddy bear companion, a sloppy drawing, and a shiny kunai that had long rusted in the real world… They were all here, familiar, not familiar, but still a source of forgotten comfort.

Still, the true prize was clutched in his hands. His fingers uncurled around the picture frame and awakening slightly, Sasuke looked at it as he had done a million times over the past thirty minutes.

A family looked back with welcoming smiles as if they had been waiting for him.

Iie, it wasn't real. The shadow had been right. None of this was real.

It's just a lie.

His hand tightened on the photo. He didn't believe it, but he wanted it with all his heart. Wanted it so much it hurt more than getting stabbed during a battle, more than getting his pride wounded, more than his getting his revenge…

_But… I don't want to leave._

Somehow, the thought was less startling than it should have been.

Back in the real world, there was another picture frame and another waiting family. They were forgotten at the moment but always lurking in the secret shadows of his heart

But that, too, wasn't altogether startling. Uchiha Sasuke never did know who was in his heart.

-----------

_So who was it? This important somebody your mother thinks she remembers?_

_Tch, you're just bitter because my memory's better than yours_

_…The Kazekage? Tensions were high then, I remember. Or maybe Konoha's famous Sennin turned evil missing-nin?_

_Don't be upset by your father's questions. You can tell us. _

_I… I didn't know his name._


	13. Chapter 11: Naruto

Chapter 11: Naruto

It was no secret that there had been many times when Naruto couldn't believe what an idiot his teammate was. In the beginning, Uchiha Sasuke had been everything he had wanted to be. Genius. Most chased after guy in Konoha. Sasuke had had everything he had ever wanted to have. Talent. Recognition. Sakura-chan.

Then the idiot had thrown it all away for a chance to kill someone whose death required time. His teammate was just too damn impatient and that meant something coming from a boy who couldn't stand the five minutes it took to prepare ramen.

It wasn't that Naruto didn't sympathize with Sasuke for his loss. Sometimes, watching the other boy suffer made him want to rip his own heart out of his chest. That's how much it hurt.

But that didn't excuse Sasuke's past association with Orochimaru or his willingness to betray Konoha for power. In Naruto's mind, two wrongs didn't make a right and leaving one's village, betraying your friends, and making the girl who loved you cry were all definitely wrongs.

As for Itachi… well, Itachi was a bastard. A strong bastard, too. There was no denying that. But with enough training, Sasuke could beat him. Naruto _knew_ it, even if it was hard for him to admit that his rival could be so strong. Kakashi had known it. That's why he had shared the Chidori. Hell, it seemed everyone but the avenger himself had believed it possible.

But even if Naruto acknowledged the strengths of his rival, he never really understood the weaknesses. Thus, when the solution to Sasuke's dilemma had appeared to him, which required years of dedication and effort, he took it for granted that the other could be just as patient in carrying it out.

To Naruto, the solution was not to run off and trade your soul to an evil, snake-like demon. It had always been much more simpler. Stay in Konoha and train with your comrades until you were strong enough to secure your vengeance.

_Should have._ There was so many things that the other boy should have done instead of what he did do that Naruto could not count them all.

_Comrades._ Another word for friends. It was funny how sometimes, both words could mean so much and then mean nothing to Uchiha Sasuke.

Naruto was not used to being bitter, but he had never been able to fully forgive Sasuke for leaving. He had always felt it had been an act of pure selfishness, especially when one took into account the heart of a certain, pink-haired girl.

Maybe that was why he now stared at his teammate's face with unyielding seriousness. If there was anyone that Sasuke owed anything to, it was her. Sasuke owed it to her and he owed it to all of them to bring her back.

"Let me talk to him."

"Tch. Go away," The Fifth Hokage was busily examining the immobile figure. His chakra had decreased to a new low and worry was written plainly on her face, "There's nothing you can do."

"How do you know, you old hag, if you don't let me talk to him?!"

"Baka!" Tsunade snapped, "I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with him! There's no time for you to have a friendly chit-chat with someone who's not even awake to listen!"

"There's nothing wrong with him! He's just being a selfish bastard again!" Naruto retorted angrily for he had an unexplainable instinct for this sort of thing.

"Go away!"

"Let me do something!"

"Your job is to sit in the corner and hope for the best! Now leave!"

"Hokage-sama…"

Kakashi's clear voice cut through the hostility. There was amusement in the way he addressed his superior but none behind the mask.

"Please let Naruto talk."

There was an air of fatigue to his request that increased as he continued for he, too, shared Naruto's instinct. Too many times had he seen his best student become within inches of happiness only to let it slip through his fingers, or rather, only to throw it away. "It may be that Sasuke's condition is not a result of something physical, but of something else that is going on in whatever place he may be at right now."

"What are you saying, Kakashi?"

"He may just need someone to reach him and to set him back on the right path and for that, there's noone better than Naruto."

For a moment, it looked as if the Fifth Hokage still wanted to argue. Her blue eyes flared with protest and then, she acquired the gaze of a gambler willing to take a chance on a random, crazy bet. "Fine. What you're suggesting sounds completely stupid since there's no indication whatsoever that Sasuke can hear us at all. But it looks as if that's our last resort. His chakra has grown too low. If it continues to fall, in less than thirty minutes, he may die."

Naruto swallowed and nodded, fox-like face more desperately determined than ever.

Kneeling by his fallen teammate, he grasped for words of inspiration. "S-sasuke… I really don't know how to say this… But…"

Tsunade felt her heart clench at the look on the blonde's face.

"…YOU'RE BEING A COMPLETE IDIOT AGAIN!"

Kakashi grinned as Tsunade blinked and then sighed.

"STOP WASTING TIME, BAKA! I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON WITH YOU, BUT DON'T YOU DARE FORGET ABOUT HER!"

"Sasuke's near death and you thought _this_ would be helpful?" Tsunade asked wryly, gesturing at the yelling boy.

"DON'T YOU DARE FORGET ABOUT SAKURA, YOU BASTARD!"

"…Yes," Kakashi replied, carefully studying the Uchiha genius. A sense of relief, deeper than he had expected, swept over him.

Sasuke's left eyebrow had twitched.

---------

STOP WASTING TIME, BAKA!

It sounded like Naruto. For a moment, Sasuke was horrified at the thought of Naruto's voice in his head.

Then the shock passed and his logic took over. He shook his head, reassuring himself that he not hearing things.

Tch, that was impossible. First of all, how would Naruto reach him? To breach a distance that was not even physical, surely, that was beyond his teammate's abilities. Naruto was strong, but not even he could cross the line dividing the living and the dead.

Secondly, what gave that dobe the right to call him baka?__

Sasuke closed his eyes, letting the silence of his room dominate. He had been lying down for hours now. Yet, he didn't mind it. Somehow, the longer he stayed, the less sharp his vengeance became until he could no longer detect or remember it… Instead, in its place, filling his heart, was a sense of peace. He would stay. Here. He would stay with his father and mother where no one could never hurt them, where he would never feel alo--

DON'T YOU DARE FORGET ABOUT HER!

His eyebrow twitched and a second later, his eyes snapped open. He sat up, scowling. It was Naruto. Somehow, the idiot had managed to contact him.

DON'T YOU DARE FORGET ABOUT SAKURA, YOU BASTARD!

It was too loud not to be Naruto.

_Sakura… _

All of a sudden, the peace he had felt disappeared. He thought of her in the field of flowers, humming in solitude. Could he really leave her there?

The selfish part of him said, Of course. He had left her before, hadn't he? Hadn't he condemned her to loneliness over and over again with his actions?

This should be no different.

After all, he owed her nothing, absolutely nothing. Countless of times, he had saved her life in battle. She was weak, a burden, a hindrance who did nothing but cry.

There was a break in his thoughts as he suddenly wondered if he was lying to himself.

SASUKE, YOU OWE HER! YOU OWE HER!

Sasuke grimaced as Naruto's voice pounded once again into his mind. With a growl, he buried his head under a pillow in an attempt to block out the fox boy. Couldn't that dobe shut up and give him some quiet to think?

Besides, what could he possibly owe her? That was ridiculous. If anything, she should be grateful to him for being alive… except… he remembered it with a sinking feeling in his stomach and a wrenching tug on his heart… except she wasn't.

He imagined her, solitary, in that artificial field. She was singing and he knew without looking at her face that she was not smiling.

He remembered her, vibrant with life. She was yelling at Naruto for stealing her ramen.

Something within him yearned for the second image and Sasuke clenched his fists, torn and cursing at the cruelty of being made to choose.

_Why would I leave this for her?_ he asked himself and his hand reached to tightly grasp the family behind glass.

He had lived without them for so long! All those years of being afraid of the darkness without anyone to go to for comfort, all those years of silence and wanting the voice of a loved one… He had lost them before—

He froze, abruptly recalling Itachi's emotionless face. That was twice in the same day that he had forgotten his brother.

_Aniki… _

Itachi was still alive. The unfairness of it all made him want to scream. There were so many people he would give his life for so that they could be live again and they were dead. Dead while Itachi, the only person he would sacrifice his soul for to kill, was still breathing.

_"Damn_…" he said and his voice was hoarse, a whisper filled with bitterness because the familiar burden had returned and it would never leave now that he had remembered it, _"Damn… damn… damn…"_

He could never stay, not when his brother was still roaming free. Itachi was a danger to the world, a threat to all those he cared for that were still alive, and above all, his responsibility to get rid of.

Sasuke knew he shouldn't feel as angry as he did now because it had been this way for eight years now. For eight years, he had stayed alive and committed sins solely for the sake of shedding Itachi's blood and during that time, he had always faced that duty instead of running away from it.

Destroying Itachi was what he defined as justice. But for some reason, in this moment, the fact that he was his brother's keeper never seemed so unfair.

But there was nothing he could do about it, was there? This was who he was, who he had been made into. Itachi would always be a shadow in his soul that, try as he might, he could never escape. 

He left his rest and his bed to stand up. With a gentle but firm hand, he placed the frame of his family on the nearby desk. For the longest time, he looked at it. As was usual for Uchiha Sasuke, he remained silent and the only sign of emotion was a small, bittersweet smile that said more than words ever could about how he felt.

At least I got to see them again… 

Even if he felt cheated, that would have to be enough. Life had never been kind to him anyway.

The door seemed to lose its pleasant air of nostalgia as he left for it went without saying that he was not going to return.

-----------

"His chakra's rising…"

-----------

Author's Note: Gah, I know, sorry I'm dragging this part out so long. But this story is more focused on character development/exploration rather than action.

For instance, THIS chapter is the one where Sasuke finally makes the decision to leave. It may seem sort of late since in the chapter titled Rude Awakening, Sasuke realizes that the home before him is just an illusion. But by staying longer, the point was that he still wanted a family and that sacrificing his life to stay with them was not an obstacle. Rather, the only things holding him back from staying forever with his dead loved ones are the lives of other - that of Sakura and, ironically, Itachi.

Next Chapter: Reasons


	14. Chapter 12: Of Reasons and Farewells

Chapter 12: Of Reasons and Farewells

He felt old and tired standing in front of his parents, with fists clenched as if ready to do battle. Within him, a hollowness grew with each passing second.

His parents shared a look of puzzlement before returning their attention to him.

"Sasuke, did you want something?"

His voice was clearer and tougher than he had imagined it would be. As was his nature, he went straight to the point, "I didn't come to the Land of the Dead to see you."

This was the end then. He looked at them, clutched them to his heart, and then banished them. In the process, he emptied himself of all emotion. He could not feel. Not now. Later, perhaps, he would return to the memory of leaving them. But for now, it would be easier if he pretended that there was no pain.

"I came to save someone who's not supposed to be here."

Confusion began to spread across their faces, but he knew they would see in between the lines eventually and guess what he was really saying.

He hardened himself, his voice, his expression. But it was still difficult to keep talking when every word he said was a forceful blow against the fragile dream he had built up. Every word would lead to a crack in the illusion until with enough damage, it would tumble down into a heap of nothing. The shadow had caused the first crack and now, it was his turn. He could not stop until the dream was destroyed completely.

"The Hokage performed a jutsu, temporarily severing me from my body so that I could be here and look for her--"

"What?" his mother interjected nervously, "Severed you from your body? Sasuke… What do you mean, Sasuke?"

But his father remained gravely silent so that Sasuke knew that he knew. Abruptly, his mother covered her mouth to hold back a cry and that signified that she had finally understood as well. They had known that they were dead, but they hadn't know that... he... was...

"Her name is Sakura. Haruno, Sakura," he continued, thinking of his memories of her. If he had looked in a mirror, he would have seen the unconscious way his eyes softened and how his mouth neither frowned nor scowled for he didn't seem quite so angry or sad when he spoke of her.

But his parents saw the change and saw hope for their son despite what he was saying.

"I don't really want to go…" Something within him twisted so painfully that he almost lost composure. Almost. Inevitably, the familiar weight of burden was seeping slowly back into his being, "But I have to."

"She's part of my team. I have to bring her back because she's an important part of the village and because the other members of my team are counting on me and because…"

He paused then, not knowing what else to say.

And in all truth, there really wasn't anything else to say.

The dream was in shambles now. Staying was no longer an option. But despite the bitter loneliness that this wrought, he had the feeling there was something else to cling to now. It was easier than he had imagined. There was no training involved, no mission, no endless hours of thinking of revenge.

All he had to do was look within himself, past all the shadows and into his soul, to find what was hidden between the two. So he looked, and in some secret place that was neither dark or light, the answer had Naruto's voice, Icha Icha Paradise, and above all, the greenest eyes he had ever seen.

Ah…. So that's what it was. After all those times of pushing them away and keeping them at a distance to protect them… In the end, they had burrowed so deep within him that he could not erase them without erasing a part of himself.

Especially her. Her smile, her kindness, her strength of heart and ready forgiveness… He never would've imagined that he could ever need such things, such a person so much. Itachi had taken everything away and she, by being everything, had given it all back…__

"Sasuke?" his mother said hesitantly. They were waiting for him to finish his explanation.

Aa… so there was more to say, after all.

He looked at the two ghosts and because he could lie no longer to them, gave them the third reason,

"…and because I love her."

-------------------

"I knew you would come to your senses sooner or later," Naruto muttered, noticing his teammate's slight increase in chakra. It wasn't much, but it was enough: if Uzumaki Naruto ever thrived on anything besides ramen, it was hope.

The boy who wanted to be Hokage walked over to his teacher and kneeled, placing a hand lightly on Sakura's still shoulder.

"Let me help," he said, not waiting for a response. His chakra flowed out easily, like a trickle that became a stream that charged into a powerful river. Better yet, he had an abundant supply. Having the Kyubi as a resident in his body certainly had its benefits. He watched eagerly as the paleness faded ever so slightly from the pink-haired girl's face.

Kakashi removed his hand, ready to take the offered break. He nodded his thanks before drifting off, his head leaning back against a nearby wall.

Naruto smiled. Bending lower so that his head was next to hers, he whispered as reassuringly as he could for he was certain that she would hear, "Everything will be okay, Sakura-chan. He'll bring you back. I'm sure of it."

--------------------

This was where they had come to, when he could no longer pretend the barrier between the dead and the living didn't exist.

"My time is running out. I need to leave."

"…We understand." His father cleared his throat to add gruffly, "Good luck."

"Noone's ever done what you're attempting…" His mother started in a doubtful tone. Then, with what looked like effort, her demeanor lightened and she smiled encouragingly, "But if anyone can do it, I believe it's you. After all, you're an Uchiha."

Sasuke's lips lifted slightly as he thought about how strong his parents were even in death. They did not discourage, did not demand why he was saving her instead of them, only smiled. And that was enough to give him courage.

But had he looked closer, he would've noticed the way the tears sparkled in his mother's eyes and the way his father's hand was not completely still.

"Arigatou," the departing son said, "For the dinner."

So formal it was. Even as a kid, he had been reluctant to let his emotions take over because Itachi had always frowned at that. But now, what he wouldn't give to throw himself into their arms and hug these dear people close as he had seen so many children do in his lonely childhood.

Instead, he took a step backward and bowed. And in the corner of his mind, he thought, _Good. At least this time I get a proper farewell._

And ironically, his voice was steady while his heart cracked. It would take a while to mend, he knew. But it would mend, "Good-bye."

"Good-bye, Sasuke… We love you."

He nodded, savoring the words. Walking out the door, he closed it behind him and started towards the path that was opening up into gray shadows.

Behind him, the house faded in its color, wavered, and then disappeared. It may have looked like a raindrop evaporating into the air or a snowflake being devoured by the hot, red sun.

But this was all meaningless to Uchiha Sasuke for he never looked back.

--------------------------

Watching the back of her son grow more and more distant, it was then that she remembered it. The simple, haunting melody that she had sung to him when he was still an infant, when she could still hold him tenderly in her arms and protect his happiness from the contamination of the world.

She couldn't protect him anymore. She realized that she hadn't been able to for a long time. But she could still sing that lullaby and the words left her mouth the way she wouldn't allow the tears to leave her eyes.

"You are my sunshine… My only sunshine… You make me happy when skies are gray…"

Her husband's arms came around her gently and he said, "At least we had a chance to see him, right? He's really grown so much…"

"You'll never know, dear, how much I love you…"

He sighed, a sound of aching sadness, "I just wish… I wish we could have been there to watch him… Wouldn't that have been nice?"

The song stopped as the singer was overcome. She turned to clutch him close, burying her face in his neck.

"Yes," she said, knowing without seeing that their son had disappeared from them into the shadows, "That would have been nice."


	15. Chapter 13: The Right Direction

Because I haven't updated in such a long time, I decided to do two chapters at once! Marvel, people, marvel! Anyways, Sakura will prolly be entering the picture soon...

Chapter 13: The Right Direction

The road was just as he left it. With the exception of a few shaking willow trees, it was lifeless, endless, and unbelievably dull.

He had no idea what his destination was, only that it was wherever Sakura was. Similarly, he moved forward because that was the only direction available to him.

His ignorance frustrated him and after walking for hours without any clear progress – for it seemed that he was only passing the same colorless scenery over and over again - he could feel panic gaining on him.

If only there was a map or some other means to find his way around, Sasuke thought bitterly about the impossible. No one alive would have a guide to the Land of the Dead. Yet, he couldn't help but feel that if he knew just a little more about this godforsaken place, surely he would be able to find his way to Sakura….

Or if there was someone to give him the information. That would be equally helpful. Damn, where was that bastard shadow when you needed him…

"Yo."

Unlike Haku, this stranger did not emerge from behind the veil of a willow tree. Rather, he sat in plain view, back against the trunk of a knarled tree as if resting.

Sasuke blinked, startled by his own luck. Odd, he hadn't noticed this guy's appearance. He must have been too caught up in his own anxiousness to notice.

Kakashi? 

The voice had been laid-back and relaxed like his teacher's.

No, Kakashi wasn't here. And he didn't have spiked black hair. Nor did Kakashi look like he was eighteen. Lazily, the teenager opened one eye, "You lost, boy?"

Though it irked him slightly to be called a boy by someone who looked no older than him, Sasuke didn't bother to disagree and said bluntly, "I'm looking for a girl."

"Tch… aren't we all?" sighed the stranger, dreamy-eyed, "Man, I wish I had a girl…"

"I don't mean like that," Sasuke muttered, immediately annoyed. His hurry was making him short-tempered, but he tried to maintain the polite, cool tone in his voice, "She has pink hair. If you can tell me… I want to know where she is."

"Pink hair? Yare, yare… That's a strange color…"

Sasuke tried not to look too strained, "Well?"

"I don't think I've ever seen a girl with pink hair before."

"…Oh." This time, Sasuke turned away so that the stranger wouldn't see how upset he was.

Yet, he must have conveyed a bit of his disappointment for the teenager cleared his throat and said, discarding his slothful tone for something more serious, "Is this someone you care about?"

Sasuke's eyes darkened with emotion, but he remained silent. Somehow, it was still hard for him to admit his feelings. It always had been, maybe always would be.

"If it is, I can tell you how to find her."

There was a promise in that. He had to take the chance. In a hoarse voice, almost too timid to be his own, he said, "She's…"

"Your girlfriend? Your wife? Your loooooover?" the stranger suggested in a ridiculously amused voice.

He scowled. Something about this guy reminded him too much about Kakashi, even though the two looked nothing alike. Kakashi's face was more slim and without expression until he chose to convey whatever it was he felt. And the eyes of the infamous Copy Ninja were almost always tired.

This person, though, had dark eyes. They were black like his own and at the same time, bright with some sort of inner light. Like Naruto, Sasuke thought.

"…my teammate."

At that, something changed in that young, teasing face. It acquired a calm understanding that made it seem older and wiser, "Ahhh, a teammate… Yes, those are important."

"Do you know where I can find her?"

"The roads of the Land of the Dead have no end. Everyone starts at the same place, walking in hopes of reaching a destination. If you're stupid, you'll wander on and on forever or until you end up as a tree. If you're smart, you'll give up after a few days, wishing to be with those you love."

Sasuke listened intently and then realizing that the stranger had fallen quiet, pressed, "And?"

"And that's where you'll find her."

"What?"

"There are no real roads in the Land of the Dead. There is only the knowledge of where you want to be once you are here." The stranger fixed his intelligent gaze on Sasuke, "If you need me to explain it again, then maybe you haven't wandered enough."

But Sasuke had and something in his soul told him that he could wander no longer in this cold, empty land.

"There's no need," he said, finally, as the wheels in his head turned and realization hit, "I understand." He turned, back to the figure that had given him the answer he needed, ready to leave, "Arigatou, um…"

"Obito. My name's Obito."

The name sounded oddly familiar though Sasuke couldn't exactly place it.

"Uchiha Obito."

He started and turned back in surprise, "Uchiha?"

But the raven-haired, grinning Obito was gone.

---------------------

_Everything will be okay… _

_…Who had said that? Had it even been spoken aloud or was she so lonely that she was just imagining things?_

_"Ahem."_

_She turned, surprised to see another person here. Instinct had told her it was her fate now to be alone. Yet, here was company, standing across from her with a look of arrogance in black eyes. How strange. Her curiosity compelled her to ask, _

_"Who are you?" _

_He smirked, a prince of smooth skin and luxuriously black hair that took her hand, pressed soft lips to it, and whispered a name she felt she had known all her life, "Sasuke."_

_------------------------------_

He took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and thought of her.

Haruno Sakura. Chuunin at fourteen. Ready to take the Jounin exam at sixteen though she still had quite a few doubts. Perfect chakra control, though her stamina was only average. Average in some ninjutsu, though she excelled so well in certain ones that once she even managed to counter Neji's Kaiten to the Hyuuga's great dismay. Above average in taijutsu, thanks to the guidance of a certain Rock Lee, though once she feared hand-to-hand fighting. A master at genjutsu and steadily improving under the strict hand of jounin Kurenai

And quite the medic. Perhaps, the most talented young medic next to jounin Hyuuga Hinata.

He opened his eyes to find himself in the same position. There was no pink hair to be seen.

Sasuke frowned. He wasn't doing it right. Obito's words implied that he only had to think of her to find her. So he had thought of her in the light of praise, given now the official acknowledgement of her abilities that her training had warranted long ago. What else was needed?

But even as he thought this, a part of him knew. He was still trying to keep her away. It was a defense mechanism, really. He didn't want her to get hurt, didn't want her to be touched by the darkness that was so deep within him. And at the same time, he didn't want to hurt because Itachi had taught him that too much love could be the most painful thing in the world. To long, to hope for something that was not revenge but a flesh and blood, breathing person was dangerous. More risky than any A-class mission ever could be.

Yet, he did long and hope for her. Her presence soothed him more than anyone else's ever did. Sakura was… well, he had told his parents, hadn't he?

_Let's try this again._

Haruno Sakura. The silly child that once thought they could have a happy ending. The one he had made cry over and over again. The kunoichi who mastered one of the First's Genjutsu techniques quicker than even he could, but who could not bear to use it, who he wrongly thought was weak.

The sweet, amusing girl entering into womanhood that knew now that a happy ending for them wasn't possible and yet, remained the only one who was willing to cry for him.

_Where are you? I need to see you…_

When he opened his eyes again, he was in a field of flowers.

-----------------

Hmmm, I know I've given a lot of detail on Sakura's ninja skills but that's because I'm planning on doing a sequel to this fic that involves more... action? I'm still kinda hesitant, so I'm thinking about letting you guys decide once the epilogue is out. (It's already written, actually. I hope you guys won't hate me once you read it. )

Mmm, what else... more twists up ahead.... I noticed I've made Sasuke more softer, but I guess that's because noone else is around to watch him act that way; if you read the manga, right before he leaves, the decision is harder and more emotional than he lets on when Sakura confronts him... thus, GASP, in this fic, he DOES have feelings... and I DO think he has them for Sakura, but hell, it's all open to interpretation....

Anyways, please review. (Thank you, Neptune47! Your comments are greatly appreciated and are very encouraging!) Likewise, any feedback is welcome.

Next Chapter: The Other Sasuke


	16. Chapter 14: The Other Sasuke

Chapter 14: The Other Sasuke

"How much time does he have left?"

"Less than twelve hours now."

"His chakra's still low…"

"I know, but there's nothing more we can do. This is something _he_ has to do…"

-----------

"Sasuke?" she repeated hesitantly. Then, when his fingers curled gently around hers, she asked, blushing, "Do we know each other?"

"Of course, we're good friends."

Oh, how easily he held her gaze! She could not look away. The smirk on his handsome face had not faded in the least. She felt light-headed, mesmerized by his elegant beauty. She wanted to touch his pale skin, feel that he was real and this wasn't some product of her lonely imagination…

"You're prettier than I thought," he leaned in closer to scrutinize her features.

"Huh?" She held her breath as his eyes peered at her until they were satisfied. She didn't particularly mind the examination since it gave her a chance to subtly study him as well.

"You're prettier than I remember."

"Oh," she went red again, "Arigatou."

He led her until a patch of grass suitable for sitting was found. The ground was soft yet firm. Sunflowers loomed above them like towers. They should have been yellow, but in the Land of the Dead, they had light grey petals and black centers instead.

A look of sadness appeared and settled on Sakura's face.

"What's wrong?"

She bit her lip and then said, softly with a tangible unhappiness, "Gomen… You say we're friends, but I don't remember you at all…"

"That's okay," he said smoothly, almost looking relieved.

"So… if it's not too much trouble, can you tell me a bit about yourself? Maybe it'll help me remember. I really don't know why I've forgotten."

"Sure. I don't mind telling you."

They were sitting, both cross-legged and facing each other. She waited eagerly.

"Well, we're both from the same village, you see. And I, uh, knew you for a lon g time... We're ninjas of The Hidden Leaf village. We met at school, The Academy, and…"

She nodded slowly, absorbing the information as he gave it. Her memories were sketchy, obscure. But when he had said 'Leaf', she saw glimpses of what was being hidden from her. And as he talked, it was as if a veil was being lifted. Like holes being punched through a brick wall, letting her see what was on the other side.

_A mountain of four faces. Standing on a bridge, looking over trickling water, and waiting. A ramen shop and a loud, excited voice greeting her. Her own feet moving eagerly, her own voice responding sharply but affectionately, Why don't you ever wait for me, N--_

The yearning she had always felt but never understood suddenly intensified. It became so real and clear that she felt tears in her eyes.

"…Dad was always off on missions so there was really noone at home. I really hated being stuck in an empty house, so sometimes we'd train together. That's how we became good friends, I guess—hey, are you ok?"

He'd seen the tears. She wiped at them hastily, but they only seem to flow harder. His thumb was suddenly at her cheek, tenderly stroking away the drops the second they met her skin.

"Arigatou… Sasuke-kun."

_Idiot_, she thought to herself at the same time, _You don't even know why you're crying._ And it was true, for the images of Konoha had disappeared as quickly as they had come.

He nodded, as if surprised by his own initiative and then let his hand fall.

"Now where was I?"

"Your father?"

"Oh yeah, him." Scowl. Then a long, weary sigh, "Well, I guess it wasn't the same after my mother died. She died on a mission, you know. Some bastard from the Sand Village got her from behind. There was… a lot of damage to the body. They didn't want to have an open coffin at the funeral."

He stopped, as if remembering. The face remained unaffected but his voice became hoarse, coated in pain, "I... didn't go. Couldn't. I was ten and sick in bed that day. I didn't know until afterward that she had died."

She took his hand and squeezed it.

He smiled, grateful, and then resumed, "After that, my father just started going on missions like crazy. One after the other. Home was too painful for him. Everything there was a memory, like salt in unhealing wounds. I told him we should move out of Konoha, move on… But he refused and I knew then that he wanted the salt. He never wanted those wounds to heal. Crazy, huh?"

"No… I understand."

And she did because somehow, this felt familiar. All this talk about unhealing wounds and undying memories. Even the way he stared straight ahead of him, refusing to look at her even while he poured out his heart.

_There had been rain. Lots of it and she was cold, numb to anything and everything until his warm hand grabbed her freezing one—_

"…always a hypocrite to me. Going on tons of dangerous missions himself. But if I was assigned even a C-rank mission, he'd go ballistic."

"Maybe he was just worried," she offered, "Maybe the thought of losing you was too much to bear." Somehow, that idea seemed familiar, too.

"Maybe. But I worried about him, too! All those dangerous missions, never resting before leaving again. It was as if… as if he couldn't wait to die and leave me behind." Another sigh and the rigid shoulders shook slightly. Suddenly, he sounded young and vulnerable, "I wanted… to be a good ninja so I could go on high-level missions. I wanted to go _with_ him. Protect him."

_I'll protect you, Sakura-chan…_

"Mom had been stabbed in the back; I wanted to be there to make sure that didn't want happen to him. But…"

He looked at her then, all sorrow and grief,

"…in the end, I was the one that left him behind."

_Sakura… Thank you…_

Something tore at her heart. The hard, unrelenting sense of the past and she saw someone's back moving farther and farther away… Then, it was gone, snatched away by some invisible force.

"I caught an illness in one of the countries I infiltrated. I died within three days. And if I ever saw my father again, I don't remember it. Even though I've said a lot, there is more that I don't remember. I've been down here for so long, waiting, it seems. But waiting for what, for who I don't know."

He turned to look at her, a wry smile on his lips, "Kinda crazy, huh? Before I started talking, I didn't even know that these memories existed. It feels as if they were within me this whole time and I didn't even know it."

Her heart beat faster with hope. Did that… that mean that there was something within her that she didn't know? Some past, some memory of home that only had to be triggered? She searched within herself, but found nothing and was disappointed.

"Kinda crazy, huh?" he said again, "But these memories are all that I have left and I don't know why."

"Sasuke-kun…"

She wanted to comfort him. This being before her, despite its bewitching demeanor, possessed pain within. She wanted to offer a hand squeeze, maybe a hug. But his sadness was like a barrier, keeping her back.

They sat, quiet for a moment before he spoke again, "Neh… I have a question. More like, a favor."

She nodded, too touched by his story to refuse, "Anything. I'll do my best, Sasuke-kun."

He tried to keep his tone casual, as if what he were about to ask was a little more than insignificant. A mere trifle. But the nervousness he kept out of his voice spilled over into his face. Those flawless features now took on a shade of anxiousness and his hands fidgeted nervously.

"…Can I stay with you?"

Her eyes widened and she repeated, "You want to stay with me? Here?"

"If you want me. I said I was waiting. But I'm… tired… of that. I don't want to wait anymore, but I have nowhere else to go."

She held back her delight. The loneliness had been unbearable for some time now. She had thought she would never be able to escape this field, whose flowers could never compensate for people. Endless days of walking, wandering, crying, and singing when the sadness of being by herself had no other outlet. And now, here was someone who could end it all, who gave her a reason to enjoy the eternity that fate had given her.

"Of course," she said, beaming so much that this time, it was he who was mesmerized. Her voice lifted with grateful joy, "Of course you can stay!"

Well, this chapter's purpose was to give some background on the shadow. (Yes, Neptune47, you were right.) Thanks to all the reviewers! Please continue to give feedback!

Anyways, I'm thinking about writing a one-shot, but I don't know what kind of pairing? Character study? Any requests? Please suggest some and I'll be sure and try my best to fulfill them! (Er, no yaoi please. Nothing against those, but I just don't know how to write that.)

The Next Chapter: Gifts


	17. Chapter 15: Gifts

Chapter 15: Gifts

"For you," she said simply.

They had been walking for some time now, bathing in the reassurance of each other's presence. Talking about insignificant things, trying to remember the facts of their lives. He had more success, of course.

A dog named Popo, a favorite sweater that was the color green, a secret hideout to where he went when he thought about his mother…

A part of her was jealous, wishing that she could remember those that she had known and the things that she had liked. But, she reasoned, even if she didn't, it was nice that at least one of them did. At least one of them had a history.

So they had strolled on, conversing until she, on a whim of gratitude, had suddenly plucked a sunflower. Now she offered it to him, a symbol of how appreciative she was of his company.

He looked at the flower and then at her, mouth open in an 'O' that she thought was absolutely adorable. "F-for me?" he stammered and she nodded.

Then he seemed to collect himself. A smirk spread across his face as he reached for the gift. She waited for him to grab the stem; instead, his fingers wrapped themselves on her wrist and pulled her close.

"Ano… have you ever been kissed before?" he asked, eyes intent on her lips,

_…bright, sunny day. A field just like this and the heat between them was suffocating but pleasant… and his lips, she never knew that he was such a good kisser…_

"I…" she could not speak. Too flustered. Was it the fleeting memories, the ones that she could sense for an instant before they faded again? Was it that… or was it him? His hand was suddenly at her cheek, touching her. _Oh…_ He was cuter up close. She tried to breathe and finished her sentence in shaky, uncertain tones, "…d-don't remember."

"That's too bad."

_…he was staring into her eyes, so hopeful, so serious… she had never seen him this way, so intensely focused on her…_

This memory was precious, she knew. So very, very precious. She tried hard to cling to it.

Whisper, "Do you mind if I remind you?"

Then there was a hand at her cheek and it guided her mouth closer to his. She felt the heat spreading in her body as she imagined the taste of his lips—

"GET AWAY FROM HER!"

It was only an echo, but she turned to look anyway.

Over Sasuke's shoulder, there was someone standing in the far distance. She could not see his face for he was too far, but he had black hair. And his voice had been overflowing with rage.

"Shimatta…"

Sakura turned to look at Sasuke in surprise. The softness of their moment was gone forever now and all that remained was a hard look of unpleasant surprise. His hand grabbed her wrist and tightened uncomfortably, possessively. The time for confrontation had come.

-------------

Sasuke was madder than he had felt in months and that meant quite a lot coming from a boy who had sought vengeance all his life.

But this…_ this_… this was worse than when Naruto had forced him to face his own inferiority. Almost as bad as when Itachi had mocked his weakness and tossed him aside.

He could not accurately measure the hate he felt; all that he knew was that he was seething, boiling mad, ready to shed blood. His steps were taken with fury as he stalked toward the pair of figures. That shadow had impersonated him. In the same way it had borrowed Naruto's visage, it had taken his face to deceive Sakura. And if his eyesight had been correct, the disgusting thing had been touching her and they had been about to… about to… _Oh, how he wished for a sharp kunai!_

He stopped in front of them, sickened in his stomach and flushed with the heat of rage.

The shadow stared back with a friendly, taunting smile that seemed too cheerful on his own face. Its words, though, were acidic and spat out with resentment, "I see you made it out of that dream, boy."

"What the _hell_ do you think you're doing, you bastard?" Sasuke hissed, eyes narrowing dangerously.

"Well… I thought you weren't going to finish your little mission so I decided to finish it for you," the shadow explained all too casually. It added, "Finishing it _as_ you was just an extra touch."

"And how is _this _finishing my mission?" Sasuke growled, gesturing to the flower-filled surroundings.

For a moment, the shadow seemed caught off guard. It seemed to experience a flicker of confusion, "Is-isn't your mission to… stay… with her?"

"You don't have a clue, you idiot," the contempt was blatantly obvious, "I'm here to bring her back."

"Bring… her… back?" Now his face wore a look of utter disbelief and shock.

"Tch," Sasuke muttered, "You're better off wearing Naruto's face. Stupidity doesn't become me."

"N-naruto?"

Abruptly, Sasuke noticed the pink-haired girl hiding timidly behind his 'twin'. He had been too upset to notice at first, wanting to deal with the shadow before anything else. But seeing her again so suddenly took his breath away.

She looked the same. All pensive, green eyes and a pretty, thoughtful look that he had seen so many times before. That, more than anything else, made him experience a sudden rush of hope.

"Naruto?" she said again, her forehead creasing in contemplation, "Why does that name sound so familiar?"

"Sakura…"

Her eyes, previously filled with fear, widened now with astonishment. Her attention reverted back to him again, "Is that… my name? Did we know each other?"

"I… you…" he faltered, embarrassed for some reason he could not understand. She didn't remember him. Or Naruto. It was puzzling, but he didn't have the leisure to ponder what her amnesia meant. It was simpler at the moment to deliver a quick answer explaining their connection. Yet, somehow, saying that they had been teammates – even though, they had never been anything more -- seemed inadequate.

She looked back and forth worriedly, from him to the shadow that still bore his image, "Who is the real Sasuke-kun?"

"I am," they both answered at the same time.

At this point, Sasuke growled, "I've had enough of you," and promptly delivered a devastating blow to the head of his 'twin'.

The shadow flew backwards and landed on its back, cringing in obvious pain. Sasuke was satisfied to see that it was unable to maintain its façade. He watched his own face melt away to reveal a thing of darkness. Staring, Sakura covered her mouth, stifling a shriek, but not her expression of horror.

Sasuke took her distraction as an opportunity to grab her hand and pull her away. The shadow was temporarily stunned, but he didn't know how long it would remain immobile. He led her across the endless field of sunflowers, trying to put as much distance as possible between them and their enemy.

"Sasuke-kun…"

He didn't stop, "Aa…"

How did one get out of a place like this? Was it just a matter of wanting to be in Konoha? Of wanting to return? Was it so simple?

"Are you… are you really taking me back?"

He tightened his grip, trying Obito's method again, "I'm taking you home."

Konoha, calm, peaceful village. Strong, full of precious people. Perverted teacher, noisy idiot teammate, and… and…

"Why?" She was dead. She couldn't go back. Why was he here?

…her.

The sunflowers faded, to be replaced by the familiar sight of hunched, willow trees and a dusty road. He suddenly knew that the river would be up ahead. He turned to look at her. She was staring at their new surroundings with a mouth open in awe.

Their gazes met and he saw a spark of hope in her green eyes that made him want to tell her that everything was going to be okay, that he was here because over the years he had learned to love her too much, that nothing was going to stop him from taking her away…

"Because that's where you belong," he told her instead, but he said it in such a way that it was as if he had said everything else anyway. Then, he moved ahead and without completing understanding the reason, she found herself following.

For the first time since she had died and even if she didn't know exactly who this boy was or why he seemed so dear and wonderful, she felt like someone was giving her something instead of stealing something away.

_He gave me back my name. My name is Sakura…_

_-----------_

A/N: In case you didn't know, Sakura refers to the shadow as Sasuke in the beginning paragraphs because that's who she thinks he is. And the whole sunflower thing was from a fanart I saw somewhere on the web. Ehehehe, yep, I'm a sucker for Naruto fanart. ;;

I'm going to start on some of the one-shots. They seem like a challenge since I haven't written any other couples before except SasuSaku. But I'll try. That's all I can do, right? Wish me luck.

Also, btw, the title of this chapter refers to two gifts. Specifically, a gift from Sakura and a gift from Sasuke. One tangible, and one not. I'm sure you smart people can guess what they are. Anyways, please continue to review!

Next Chapter: Price for Two


	18. Chapter 16: Price for Two

Chapter 16: Price For Two

She collapsed when they reached the river.

Silently, she crumpled, her face tightening with some sort of inner pain. He felt, rather than heard, her fall and was by her side in a second.

"What's wrong?" he asked, searching for some injury.

But she only shook her head and said, hoarsely and with despair, "I… I can't cross…."

Something on his face sunk, only for a second. But Sakura saw and realized how devastating her words were to him. She wanted to turn away and weep. She had hurt him, this kind boy that was trying to rescue her…

Sasuke tried to remain unaffected, even as he sensed the fear growing within. Surely, there was some way. He had come so far. He would not give up. Naruto would not give up. "Why not?" he demanded after a moment, "We'll just swim."

He swallowed hard as he said it, remembering his last experience in the deep. Nevertheless, he remained steadfast in his determination. One way or another, he was going to fulfill his unspoken promise to Naruto and Kakashi. Even if it meant facing his own sins and confronting the darkness in his soul, he would do it. He would do anything.

He almost smiled at his own thoughts. He was becoming more and more like Naruto in some ways and though he would never admit it, it was strangely reassuring.

"S-swim?" Her eyes fixed on the dark waters before them and became clouded with anguish. She shook her head again, bowing so that her pink hair hid her hopelessness, "I can't… go in there…"

No, no, she couldn't say such things now. Time… time was running out. A sort of urgency took hold and he pulled her up, harshly, "Don't say that. You don't know anything. We have to go back. You can't stay here."

"I can't leave!" she resisted, her insistence just as forceful as his. Something within her flamed and she said, a Naruto-like stubbornness in her eyes making her seem like a whole different person, "Sasuke no baka! It feels wrong! If I go in there, I'll sink!" Her voice rose almost hysterically pitch, "I know I'll sink! I know it!"

"But I won't let you sink!" The words burst from him involuntarily as if he were seized by desperation. His hands were suddenly on her shoulders and there was a fierce emotion in those dark, burning eyes, "I won't lose you again!"

Bewildered by the strength of his grip, her temper faded until she could only look back in pure astonishment.

"Trust me," he said, releasing her. A rush of embarrassment entered him. _Why did I have to say it that way?_ He turned away so that only his back could be seen, "I'll carry you, if I have to. I won't let you sink, Sakura."

She felt herself wavering, almost believing his words, wanting to believe, wanting to trust…

"Useless."

Sakura turned in the direction of the voice. She blinked and Sasuke was in front of her, a protective shield between her and an old man in a boat.

"It doesn't matter if you keep her from sinking, Uchiha Sasuke. Because once she reaches the other side, she'll disappear into the shadows anyway."

Sakura felt her spirits drop again. She couldn't see Sasuke's reaction but she imagined a scowl on his face. But his response was neutral, carefully restrained, "Tell me why."

The ancient boatman's expression showed no hatefulness, only a certainty that comes when one is stating an obvious truth, "Because she is empty. A soul, but not a soul. If she enters the water, she will sink because the darkness will fill her and drag her down. And if she reaches the other side, the shadows will consume her in the same way. You have given her back her name, but they will take it away. Her name and her face, they will take both and she will be less than she is now. An entity of darkness is what she will become, a shadow bitter and angry, if you take her to the other side."

Sasuke heard Sakura's gasp, felt her shudder, and so, did not say anything when her hand unconsciously grabbed his shirt.

"I will take you back unless you choose to stay. You are alive. Normally, the living are not allowed to cross but for you and another, the price has already been paid."

That sounded familiar. Sasuke repeated, "For me and anoth—" and stopped and then said, "Uzumaki Naruto."

There was a nod.

Sasuke felt a numbness settle over him. He did not have to ask who had paid the price. The answer was standing behind him, crying quietly.

"Go."

The whisper startled him and he looked to see green eyes beseeching him. She let go of his shirt and gave a gentle push forward.

"You have a chance. Go."

He opened his mouth, shut it, at a complete loss for words. Did she know? That she was the one that had given him the chance in the first place? Did she know? Something that felt like a cry of anguish threatened to spill from him. Always, in life, he had tried to make himself cold towards her, to feel nothing. Why was it then, that her death, which should have meant nothing, made him feel so much?

"Sakura… I…"

She watched him through blurry vision and tried to smile even when tears ran down her cheeks, "It's ok. Thank you for trying, but I should be here. It's better than being a shadow, after all."

He grimaced, a look bright with pain. Then, after a moment of struggle, he regained his control and said hoarsely, "No."

"W-what?"

He said, stronger, "I'm not leaving without you."

"But—"

"If I go across, you're coming with me. And you won't be turning into a shadow."

"I… you… you…" she sputtered, shocked and then furious again with that same obstinacy that reminded Sasuke of his other teammate, "Don't be stupid! Sasuke no baka! You're not dead! You don't need to be here! You can go back and be with the people you love and just… just… _live_!"

She wanted to say more but there was something unreadable on his face, something that appeared at her last statement that made her speechless. It was dark and powerful and frightening. She did not know that he was thinking about his brother.

"Sasuke-kun," she said, softening her tone to make it more persuasive, "Go back. Go _home_. _Live_. Please, Sasuke-kun… Try to understand. Anything is better than death."

But the look on his face at _that _made her regret that sentence as well for it seemed as if he disagreed. After a while, he said, "If you're not there, what I return to won't be a home… and what I live won't be a life."

Sakura flushed, heard her own heartbeat in her ears and it was loud like a drum.

Another heartbeat brought a firm repetition, "I'm not leaving without you."

Abruptly, he switched his attention back to the waiting boatman and said, with challenging eyes, "Did you hear that?" and proceeded to question the old man further. Why exactly had been paid? What could he do to pay for her fare, whatever that would be? What…

In the midst of his questions, he suddenly felt a slight pressure on his shoulder. He paused but didn't pull away. Her head was resting by his neck, her arms around his waist, and her tears falling gently onto his skin. Being held this way and by her was oddly familiar.

"Arigatou," she whispered this time.

_---------------_

_W__hy couldn't Naruto and I pass?_

_The other boy carries a demon within. The Kyubi is a monster of blood and hate. The connection is not purely physical. His soul, whether he wishes it or not, is bonded to sin._

_And I?_

_The curse of the one named Orochimaru taints you. As does hateful vengeance. Yet, your sins were not as forced upon you as you think. All choices were made willingly. You have made yourself into a demon._

_Then… the price? For two demons?_

_All her memories, all the love she ever felt, all the happiness of her life. Her knowledge, her identity. Keeping only feelings of sadness and pain. Only part of the payment has been paid so far, but the rest will come soon enough once her body dies completely. _

_…Do you understand now, Uchiha Sasuke? What was meant when I said before? Do you understand the sacrifice? For two demons, she traded an eternity of peace for an eternity of suffering. A sense of loss yet knowing what has been lost. Endless longing. For two demons, she gave everything that was possible to give. For two demons, she gave herself._

------------------

I hope the last scene seems vaguely familiar. It should, if you remember the Forest of Death arc. I just wanted to contrast the two scenes. In the actual anime, Sakura begs him to stop his out of control violence. In this one, she thanks him for not giving up. sigh Sasuke's gone through character growth... My baby's growing up...

Anyways, I hope I haven't made Sakura too OC in this chapter. She's a bit more outspoken since she doesn't remember any of her feelings for Sasuke. Thus, she acts a bit more like her natural self, which does resemble Naruto in some ways.

One-shots coming along... slowly... ;;... just as hard as I thought, but I'm trying to get them finished....

The ending is coming soon but before that, more angst along the way. (What can I say? It's my lifeforce.) So, just when you think I can't torture poor Sasuke any more, please be reminded that bringing someone back to life can't be too easy. There are prices to pay, after all...

Next Chapter: Price for One


	19. Chapter 17: Price for One

Chapter 17: Price For One

"And what can you pay, Uchiha Sasuke?"

"My life," Sasuke said after a while, "Let her cross. I will stay."

He thought of Itachi and his revenge and clenching his fist, tried his best to let it go as well. Surely, her well-being was more meaningful than his brother's demise. After all, what could Itachi's death bring him? Once upon a time, he had thought the answer was revenge. But time had taught him that was only a word. Orochimaru had taught him that it was the path to hell.

Behind him, Sakura protested furiously.

"Sasuke-kun, you can't be serious!" she cried, too upset to notice the smile that danced fleetingly on his lips when he gazed at her.

Yes, she was worth more… infinitely more… than just a word… His fist relaxed. With all of his heart, he wished he could have known that earlier.

"Tch, not enough. A life is nothing more than staying here," replied the old man, refusing his sacrifice with a face hard as stone, "You are a sinner and here, the life of a sinner is worth nothing."

It was a harsh blow, but he persisted, "Then what can I give?"

"Your happiness."

Something in him reacted badly and unable to stop himself, he burst out angrily, "But you're telling me to leave her behind!"

"I will be more precise. By happiness, I refer to the happiness in your soul, given to you by your memories. Fortunately for you, most of her soul remains in the Land of the Living so you are not taking all of her back. Consequently, you will not have to give up all your memories. The most precious, you may keep."

Sakura began desperately, "Sasuke-kun, NO—

"Sakura, be quiet," Sasuke interrupted firmly. He nodded at the boatman, "Alright, you have a deal."

"You know that if you take her back, her payment for you and Uzumaki Naruto will be nulled," the old man told him. There was a warning in those ancient eyes, more dangerous than any foe for what it warned against was eternity, "The next time you come down here, when you come to stay, I might be unable to take you across."

"I understand. She… she shouldn't have had to pay in the first place," here, black eyes clouded slightly with pain, "None of what I did was her fault."

"Are you ready?"

"…Yes."

"Then take my hands."

Sasuke grasped them. He already knew which memories he would be forced to give up. Upon touching the old man's palms, he suddenly felt a presence lurking in his mind. It felt like a web being extended and stretched until it covered all of his thoughts.

The old man was looking into his memories. He could feel fingers sifting through them, as if filtering sand. They fell, like golden grains, one by one. Each was precious and cherished, each a treasure…

_Which will you make your payment?_

The question was not said aloud, but Sasuke heard and replied,

_The ones of my family… the ones of my brother… my love for them and all of the times we spent together before that night…Take them…_

_As you wish._

And then those were taken by an invisible thief. Sasuke gasped for it felt as if someone had reached into his chest and between his ribcage to squeeze his heart. The pressure was intense and when it disappeared, it felt as if he only had half a heart left. _Gone, they're really gone…_ There was a moment of such wrenching, unendurable loss that he felt like falling to his knees and sobbing.

But he held the emotion in for Sakura was watching him intently and he didn't want to make her feel any worse.

He tried to pull away, but the old man held tight and shook his head.

_It is not enough. I need one more memory._

Sasuke stared, seized by disbelief. Then he bowed his head, letting his bangs cover the bitterness in his eyes. Of course, it wouldn't be enough. Even in this, Itachi had left him horribly inadequate.

_He could no longer remember his admiration for his brother, just as he could no longer remember being with his parents. There were no more memories left of him and Itachi except the ones he wished he could forget… No more memories of training with his father, of arguing with his mother for extra dessert, of them tucking him into bed, of laughter, of hugs, of "Welcome homes" and "I love yous"… they were beyond his reach now… somewhere in the distance, where his bloody past laid, where his soul knew they existed but where they could not be touched… All those memories so ripped from him…_

All of them, that is, except one.

_"We love you, Sasuke…"_

He was trembling now. He could feel it. But somehow, he managed to fix his gaze on the boatman and nod.

How fortunate, he told himself before the pain hit, _I was able to come here to make just one more memory with them. _

How fortunate it was. How cruel…

Then it was being ripped away, their faces finally lost to that distance so that their expressions, their voices, and their words were gone forever. And what was left in that wake, the only thing, was that night where the moon was red and they were nothing but bodies frozen on the ground and his brother nothing but a face in the shadows…

His family was dead to him for good now. More than if Itachi had murdered them a hundred times.

The old man let go and this time, he really did sink to his knees.

--------------

_Sakura was by his side in an instant, hugging him to her in the warmest embrace he had ever received. _

_"Gomen," she was saying over and over again, "Gomen…Gomen…" _

_And each time, it was brighter with emotion until her voice finally was too overcome. Then all she could do then was hold him close and hold him tight. So fierce was she in her embrace that it was enough to return him to his senses and he looked up, their eyes meeting, their tears melting together…_

_"I'm not leaving without you," he said._

---------------

A/N: Sorry for the wait, but I'll try to have more chapters out soon. This story is close to ending anyways. Anyways, hoped you enjoy the chapter. I know that in the beginning I wrote that Sasuke felt that his revenge was pointless because it gave him nothing. But just keep in mind that in the manga, he already knows this and still feels like he has to kill his brother. Plus, he apparently knows when to give up his life for a teammate; after all, he almost did it for Naruto.

Ultimately, I hoped to convey a complete severance of ties in this chapter. Sasuke is, in a sense, giving up his past.

Next Chapter: The Fall

Working on that and the requested KakaSaku... Until the next post, ja!


	20. Chapter 18: The Fall

A/N: An update at last! The title has two meanings, btw. Enjoy and know that I'm always open to comments, criticism, reviews!

The Fall

Stepping into the boat, Sasuke pondered his conflicting feelings. On the one hand, there was something uplifting about being so close to home. On the other, there was a dread that made him restless, a small fear that there was more to suffer, more to pay.

_Is it over?_

If it wasn't, at least they were finishing the last stretch. The three days were almost up and now, the only thing between them and home was a quick boat ride.

He tried to see the shore but across the waters, there was nothing except darkness.

He was about to attempt and activate his Sharingan when his attention was distracted by the weight of someone's gaze. She was looking at him.

"What?"

She hesitated, her face marked with uncertainty and timid hopes, "You risk so much for me. Am I… that important to you?"

He let his eyes drop, Sharingan forgotten in the unsureness of what to answer. The truth seemed too bold of a thing to say and whenever he _did _consider saying it, it felt as if his whole face was being baked by the sun, as if his stomach had just been reduced to light fluttering and his knees were no longer there…

"Something like that," he muttered.

"Sasuke-kun—"

"Don't ask any more questions," he interrupted flatly, hiding his nervousness. A part of him wondered since when did he become this way, so easily disturbed by the glow in her eyes. He swallowed and said, "You'll get your memories back once we return. Just wait until then."

"Oh… right," she replied, mustering up a weak smile. And they spent the next few minutes, looking everywhere else but at each other, until his need to compensate for his harshness and her desire to thank him heartily and earnestly overwhelmed them and they both opened their mouths and paused, seeing something endearing on the other's face…

"You can't take her!"

Someone burst out into the clearing and ran straight at them. Blue eyes shined with fury as the figure reached the end of the shore at which point, it gave a powerful leap. He soared.

The distance between the person and the boat was neither too far nor too close for only a short time had passed before they had pushed off from the shore. Breaking out of their eye contact, Sakura gasped, wondering if he would make it or if he would fail and fall into the murky river below. Beside her, Sasuke's mouth became tight and his expression cold as he prepared for a last and final confrontation.

_Knew it wouldn't end this easy._

"The other boy…" the boatman murmured and the boat rocked ominously as 'Naruto' landed.

A smirk too familiar for comfort, one that hid loathing and almost crazed hatred. "Sasuke…" the shadow, enemy hidden behind the visage of a friend, said, "Don't tell me you were thinking of leaving without me?"

"Hn. I was rather hoping you wouldn't make it. It would have been nice watching you drown."

"Sasuke-kun… what's going on?" Sakura ventured, puzzled and upset by the hostility. She peered at the newcomer with interest, her heart fluttering sweetly in her chest though he was not as handsome as Sasuke. He looked obnoxious, but she felt drawn anyways.

Then, the only sound was that of rowing. 'Naruto' looked at the source, face lighting up with mock friendliness as he advanced, "Ne, old man, you must be tired of all that movement… Let me help…"

"Your aid is not necess—" began the boatman but the oar was seized vehemently from his taut, bone-like hands.

"I insist, old man. I'll show you the proper way to use this thing."

There was a splash as the ancient creature was knocked mercilessly into the waters.

That bastard! 

Sasuke was on his feet immediately, lips pressed tightly together to keep himself from cursing the shadow. The thing before him would only be more pleased if he exhibited fury so he kept his cool instead. Behind him, Sakura had shrank back in sudden terror at the display of violence.

"What do you want?" Sasuke finally said. He didn't want to kill in front of Sakura but if it came down to it, he would gladly strangle the being before him with his bare hands, "I thought you wanted to stay on the other side. You could have spent forever in the field."

"What's the point of forever… if there's noone to spend it with?" 'Naruto's' gaze flickered toward the trembling girl, "Everything was perfect before you came..."

His opponent responded with a threatening growl, "You can't have her."

"Oh? Is she your property now? You're quite the sexist, Sasuke-kun…"

"And you're quite the idiot if you think that I'm going to let you take her without a fight."

As smooth as liquid water, the shadow slid into an offensive stance. The mockery slipped off its face and it hissed, before running forward, "Then I guess I'm not the idiot you think I am."

_He can't beat me._ Sasuke ducked, effectively avoiding a kick to the head. What ensued next was more careful dodging as his enemy continued a furious onslaught. Yet, none of the blows landed. Even if the shadow had inherited Naruto's face, it had not inherited the blonde's power or speed.

A single punch to the gut left 'Naruto' bent over and gasping.

Sasuke smirked, "What's the matter? Stopping for breath?"

The shadow glared as with effort, it straightened, "You'll regret underestimating me, Sasuke…"

The words sounded too much like the real Naruto that the black-haired boy actually felt a tinge of nervousness. He shook it away. _Tch, what can he do…_

The shadow raced forward and leapt into the air with a leg seemingly aimed at his head. Sasuke put up his arms appropriately, cycling whatever chakra he had in store to those limbs so that the impact would be less painful.

It never came.

In mid-air, the shadow maneuvered itself so that it landed behind Sasuke. Its feet thunked confidently on the bottom of the wooden boat, tipping it significantly in one direction. Sasuke heard Sakura's gasp of fear as the vessel sank so low that the black water threatened to spill in.

But that wasn't the worst of it. Sasuke felt his body become airborne, which was no doubt the intended effect of his enemy. The force by which he had been thrown up had caused him to rise feet first. He was about to right himself to ensure a proper landing when his eyes caught sight of what awaited him.

'Naruto' was smiling. Sakura was staring up at him, standing, with a look of trauma.

But it was the river itself that caught and held his attention. The water was churning, its ebony waves moving furiously as it sensed his descent. Unreasonable panic flared as he stared. The echoes of the memories that been given to him by his brother resurfaced, once again instilling an innate heaviness. He heard the sound of crashing waves as they hit the boat's side and it grew louder and louder. The water beat relentlessly, greedily. _It wanted him, to devour, to drown, to destroy._

In the back of his mind, he thought vaguely that he had better move. If he hit the ship, the collision might very well cause an irreparable hole.

Landing should have been easy for an experienced shinobi like himself.

Yet, his whole being was filled with fear and he remained frozen, just like the time in the water when the monster had pulled on him. But this time, he was really falling, falling, falling…

"Sasuke-kun!" Below him, Sakura snapped out of her daze and before 'Naruto' could stop her, she had raced forward, arms outstretched.

She caught him within the safety of her embrace. The force with which he landed made her sink to her knees. The boat, too, dipped. But the impact had been successfully minimized.

"Sasuke-kun, are you okay?" she asked anxiously, brushing the hair out of her face.

The beautiful boy gazed at her, eyes unreadable, but hand slipping to up to her face to…

_He didn't know what he wanted to do. Just… to touch her, he supposed. To feel that she was real. As to exactly what he was feeling at the moment, he didn't know that either. Only that her presence was perhaps the key, that she had saved him yet again without reason to._

She clutched his hand, pressing it against her cheek and asked again if he was okay. The terror faded, along with his moment of peace.

"…I'm fine."

"Enough!" someone growled angrily.

Pulling away, Sasuke rose to his feet instantly, turning to face the shadow. "I'm going to kill you," he said, moving forward.

'Naruto', growling, lashed out with a punch. Catching his opponent's fist, Sasuke concentrated his strength in his hand and broke the other's fingers. There was a gruesome crunch noise and 'Naruto' pulled away, howling.

"Damn you… You… son of a bitch!" it screamed.

Sasuke brought the shadow to its knees with a swift kick. Then, grabbing its head in his hands, he slammed 'Naruto's face against the bottom of the boat. The being didn't bleed, but it groaned at the pounding.

Sasuke paused as something burned on his skin. It lasted for an instant and he returned to smashing his enemy's head against the hard wood. He had to destroy this… this thing before it stopped him… before it got in his way again… make it suffer the way he had suffered…

The violence was greatly pleasing. The sight of pain made him giddy and his muscles thrilled as they pulled and pushed, 'Naruto's face rising and falling, battered, oh why wouldn't he bleed…

"Stop…"

The blood was rushing in his veins. His heart raced, all noises dimming until he heard only the sound of his enemy's skull hitting the boat. He was brimming with power, more than alive in this realm of the dead. This… destruction…he _lived_ for it…

"Please stop…"

So caught up in his own bloodthirsty actions, Sasuke didn't hear the timid, frightened voice until it finally screamed,

"SASUKE, STOP!!"

He halted, struck by the high-pitched hysteria in her voice.

"Sasuke-kun… what's h-happening to you…"

He looked at his arm, covered with black marks. Oh. How funny. The curse seal had come out. The first time in years and he had not felt a thing. The burning sensation had gone, replaced by a nauseous… pleasure. A pity that the thing in his hands did not bleed.

Slowly, he turned to look back at her. The fear in her eyes both excited and agitated him. 'Naruto' groaned and Sasuke reacted by banging its head one last time against the bottom of the boat. The sound of impact made the seal spread so that his face was completely painted with marks. The uneasiness went away, leaving him only with dark desires. He let go of the shadow and rose to look at her.

_He wanted to… press her body to his… feel her squirm and make her scream… see her blood drip, delicious, beautiful…oh, scream for me, sweet girl, so I can slit your throat…_

He moved unconsciously toward her and perhaps she saw what was in his mind for she grabbed the fallen oar in defense and half-stammered, half-commanded, "Don't… don't get come any closer…"

Tears slid silently down her face, but her hands didn't shake. There was a question in her accusing eyes that made him pause, one that asked 'Is this what I get for saving you'…

Sasuke tilted his head at the sight of weeping, suddenly struck with remorse. The curse seal retreated slightly and he, regaining some of his wits and consequently horrified, stuttered, "S-sakura…"

She wilted visibly. The oar dropped as she let it go to cover her face with both hands, trembling horribly.

"Sakura… I…"

_Don't cry._ Her tears bothered him. He felt suddenly dizzy. The last time the curse seal had turned him against a friend had been ages ago. It was the water. It was playing with his emotions, seducing him with violence, unbalancing him until he let his darkness consume him. She… she was his only anchor.

"We… we need to… get out of here," he croaked.

She looked up as if to say something. But before her lips opened, her eyes darted to behind him and widened in alarm.

Reacting, he sidestepped, effectively avoiding a charging 'Naruto'. As the shadow ran by him, too caught up in its own momentum to stop, he delivered a hard blow to his back that caused his enemy to lose balance.

The shadow stumbled toward the other end of the boat and then to the edge. What happened next was chilling to watch. 'Naruto's' face contorted with horror as its head moved against its will toward the water, pulled by some unnatural gravity. Sasuke watched, girl forgotten, curse seal seizing control once more. He was mesmerized and filled with a sick satisfaction at the grim scene.

The shadow flailed… trying futilely to regain its stability… reaching out and grabbing wildly at air until it found something that was not air...

She could not bear to watch it topple to doom. It was not in her nature to enjoy another's suffering. The grin on Sasuke-kun's face, the one he didn't even know he wore, made her sick.

Before she realized what she was doing, she had offered a hand and it had been grabbed so tightly that she almost cried out.

_Then her heart stopped when she realized that what was clutching her was not a human hand, but fingers composed of nothing but black. It was the shadow from before. She looked up, frozen. _

_"Come with me," the thing said, blue eyes fading to black as its disguise gave away._

…at last, falling and pulling with it a companion into the pitch-black depths….

"Sasuke-kun!" she screamed once.

And then, the curse seal was gone, vanished as swiftly as it had come, and he was on the boat alone.


	21. Chapter 19: Bitter Truths

Disclaimer: Naruto and its characters not owned by me. I own, uh, the Land of the Dead. Willow trees rock!

Chapter 19: Bitter Truths

The splash of her body falling into the water was like an unbearable echo.

The rocking of the boat was gentle and the waves no longer tormented him. But they didn't have to. His whole being, at the moment, was being torn apart by self-hatred.

Oh, he had been so close… So close… They had been on their way home, she had been right next him, right there… and he had let her slip through his fingers.

The irony of it all made him want to scream. He thought he had been rid of Orochimaru's evil, only to find that it still existed even when the Sannin no longer did. No, that bastard's legacy had lived on… within him…

Sasuke clutched the curse seal that still shown black on his neck, wanting to claw at it, wanting to rip it off. What a fool he had been. To think that this ugly mark could get him what he wanted. What a remarkably naïve fool. To think that he could pay the price and not have it come back to haunt him.

But now was not the time for misery. He gazed at the water, watching its ebony, glass-like surface. It beckoned.

There was still time, wasn't there? The three days were not yet over. There were perhaps only a few minutes, but those could—no, _would_ be enough. He could still save her. _Would_ save her. There was so much resting on that desperate hope that he could not help but believe it. If he tried, he could find her in those black, blinding depths. Naruto would want him to try.

Before another second was wasted, Sasuke took a deep breath and acted.

The water was cool against his skin.

----------

She was sinking, the terror like a boulder weighing her down.

The treacherous thing that had trapped her into this situation drew her closer into a tight embrace, choking her. But it was the water that harmed her more. It was like a veil, depriving her of her senses, soaking her body with filth, stealing whatever she had until she had nothing and was nothing...

No, she couldn't let that happen… She clung to the last piece she had, struggling hard to keep it, saying to herself over and over again lest she forget, _My name is… Sakura… My name is…_

The shadow, just as wrapped up in its own needs, smiled a little sad smile and said selfishly, _At least I won't be alone anymore…_

_----------_

The heaviness he had experienced before returned at full force the instant his head went under. He grunted from the discomfort that increased with every second until it became flat-out pain. Drawing on some unknown strength, however, he managed to kick his legs and the propulsion pushed him further downward. The deeper he went, the more his body fell victim to the malice that surrounded him.

His nose, though he did not dare inhale, began to detect the rotting scent of death. It was a taste that somehow spread to his mouth though no water passed through his lips.

His skin writhed as if brushing against the slimy scales of snakes. His ears heard the whispers of his hate and the words that had been inscribed upon his heart with blood.

_Foolish little brother… Hate me, detest me…_

His eyes stared, one fixated and frantically searching and the other seeing his past as if watching some crimson movie that had no end. He didn't dare close either.

They were on the ground, one on top of another, a trail of red coming from the bodies…

No, Sasuke shook his head to regain his focus, no, they were below him. Though his left eye was watching the massacre, his right saw the outlines of struggling figures. For a second, his mind was in a state of confusion. Then the briefest flash of pink in the black was enough to tell him which eye to pay attention to. He moved his arms to gain speed and it was like his muscles were being ripped to shreds by the effort.

But he got closer and that was all that mattered. He could see them more clearly now. Sakura was too pale for it to be a good sign, green eyes quivering with boundless fear, lips moving soundlessly in the water. She looked as if she was about to fall apart. He reached out his hand to grab the shadow, to stop him, to beat the crap out of him.

Before he could do so, something caused him to freeze. It was the touch of icy cold fingers.

Somebody had grabbed his ankle.

----------

"The sun's setting."

She didn't like to be the bearer of bad news, but she couldn't deny the facts either. Outside this small hut, night was approaching faster than anyone could wish. She looked meaningfully at Kakashi and Naruto, but neither would meet her gaze.

"In another hour or two, everything will be over," she said, trying to gauge their feelings from their reactions. If Sasuke did not return, if Sakura was not alive by the end of the day, would these two be able to recover?

Kakashi barely stirred at her words. She knew the Copy Ninja well enough to know that his pain, as was the case with most of his true emotions, was masked with silence. Years ago, at the Fourth's funeral, she had seen him so perfectly composed that she had thought him untouched by the tragedy. That is, until he joined Orochimaru months later in pursuing the forbidden secrets of resurrection.

Naruto, still supplying chakra to Sakura's body, clenched his teeth and cursed. But his eyes gave him away; Tsunade pretended not to notice when the boy wiped angrily at them.

She had seen it before, this silently hurting child. Only once. It had been on the day of her return to the Leaf. When Sakura had fervently hugged Sasuke, newly awaken from a coma, he had stood quietly on the sidelines and looked ready to cry. Odd, she had thought, how Naruto could be so loud in his anger and happiness and so quiet in his pain. He was more soft-hearted than one would suspect.

Now, once again, this side of him both surprised and saddened Tsunade. She could stand Naruto being loud about his dreams to usurp her Hokage-ship, she knew just how to knock him down a peg or two when he got overly arrogant. Loud, proud Naruto, she could handle. She had accepted so much of this boy, had become so accustomed to his moods, that she could take him any way that he came, be it boastful, determined, critical, clumsy, daring, cheerful, goofy, excited, annoying, serious, devious…

But never sad. Sad Naruto, never. For some reason, the Fifth Hokage was rendered speechless at the sight of this grief in much the same way a dagger in the heart makes one choke up before feeling the pain.

Really, it was just too familiar.

----------

Sakura shuddered when the shadow raised its hand to caress her cheek. They had sunk to the bottom now, solid ground beneath them, and they were not rising back up. To her disgust, black arms were still holding her. The touch was sickening but the water itself was a thousand times worse. She could feel it as a predator in her mind, clawing at the doors of her mind, trying to get at the only thing she had.

She would not let them get it. Even if she had stay at the bottom of this lake for a million years, they would not take it away from her.

"My name is Sakura," she muttered determinedly, "My name is Sakura…."

The words that had echoed themselves in her thoughts while she had been sinking were being said aloud, despite the fact that she was underwater. She thought it odd but there was no time to ponder in detail why she could talk, even breathe, in such a place.

But the water was not so much a liquid as it was a sinister presence. Certainly, at this lowest level, it resembled air more than water. The darkness was fluid but not substantial or real, except in her head. Perhaps it was the nature of the place for every time she inhaled or spoke a word, it was giving the evil a chance to enter, to permeate her being.

"My name is…"

"Why… why do you bother to remember?" the shadow whispered, "It's just a name…"

"It's who I am!" she retorted in a burst of anger. _Idiot!_ _My name is who I am. And not just that, it is a gift from someone important..._

"Even so, why do you bother to remember it? A name without people that know it is meaningless."

She was struck dumb before saying weakly, "Th-that's not true… He's going to take me back… Back to where people do know--"

"But how do you know that he's not lying? There may be no one worth returning to. There may be no point in returning. After all, how do you know that your life is better than your death?"

She had a reason, to the surprise of them both. She realized inwardly that it was this simple reason that made her willing to suffer the hardships of the journey back to life, "I… I think he loves me…"

The shadow chuckled. It was not as affected as her by their surroundings for despite all its earlier efforts to avoid it, the river was its rightful home, "You _think_? Or you _hope_?"

She remained silent and the shadow, seeing her weakness, seized its opportunity to keep her forever.

"Love…" the shadow began and not without bitterness, "…is much too overrated. We've got time. After all, we're going to be down here for a while. Let me tell you a story…"

----------

_There was a boy, who died young just like you. And just like you and all those reach the end of their lives, he came here to the Land of the Dead and saw the black river that separates the spirits from their eternities. He was just about to step into the boat that would take him across when his father, whom had never shown him much affection during his life and whom the boy believed held nothing but hate for him, came chasing after him._

_The father begged for the boy's life. The boatman refused and said that too much of the boy's soul had entered the Land of the Dead for it to leave. Despite this, the boy, too, begged to go back. His plea was out of love for he saw how much his father needed him, despite his previous coldness. Both pleas were ignored._

_The father then asked to go with the son across the river. That request was refused also. The boatman, as it turned out, would not take the father because the passage of the living was forbidden except in certain cases. As for suicide, the father could not kill himself and hope to go to the same place as his son. Suicide is a punishable act in the Land of the Dead. Though, as later events proved, it would've been better had he taken his own life._

_As there seemed to be no option left, the father broke down and cried. His wife had been murdered a year before and now, his only child was being taken from him. Unable to bear the sight of his father's tears, the son finally asked, Why are you in such pain? There is no need for you to torment yourself over my death. Live out your life. Try to be happy. Once you die, we will be reunited._

_To which, the father answered sadly and without hope, There is no chance. I have committed too many sins in my life. Killed too many, made too many suffer. When I die, there will be no peace for me. When I die, I will never see you or your mother again. _

_At this, the son despaired as well for his father spoke the truth. At last, when the boatman left for the other side, the son was not on the boat. Out of love, he had vowed to stay behind. _

_His father, who could not stay in the Land of the Dead for extended periods of time, went back and forth between the two realms. It was greatly ironic. He was a dead man in the world of the living and a live one in the world of the dead. But he didn't care so long as he saw his son._

_There were two joyous visits, one after the other. The son was finally able to understand the distant man that was his father, to talk to him, to love him and be loved in return. On the third visit, the father came to the Land of the Dead and stayed. _

_But not with the son. _

_As his son watched in horror, the father's soul walked against its will into the river where all the worst sinners are doomed to go. The son watched his father's face as the black water covered it, watched as his reason for staying behind sunk like a rock, watched as he was left behind with nothing but shadows for company._

_Let me tell you, people can die in a hundred different ways. They can die physically, emotionally, and more than once. _

_That day, the shadows laughed at the boy that watched his father disappear, laughed as the boy died again. But this destruction was a hundred times worse than the destruction of his body, which had gone to the worms. This destruction was more complete._

_Time took its toll for the boatman did not return._

_The boy forgot his name, forgot his love for his father, forgot all the things he had ever loved in his life and in doing so, he died a third time. When he became aware of himself again, he was one of the faceless shadows. He had become one of those eternally lonely beings that borrow faces when they learn the names of others and only do so to escape their own misery. _

_You say it's sad, but it is only love. _

_After all, why did the boy stay behind in the first place? _

_He stayed for love. _

_The suffering he endured, the draining of self, the torture of solitude, it is only right to say that all that he experienced was for love. A love that destroyed and killed him. A love that took so much from him that it became nothing but a word that he hated in the end. _

_You don't believe me, your green eyes say that you think I'm lying, but it's true. All of it. Here, at the bottom of this goddamn river, I can remember everything now._

_And know this, in all the years I've spent down here, wandering and waiting, I've finally learned the true meaning of love and it is the only bright truth I've gained in this land of darkness. _

_One does not live for love. One dies for it._

_Love is death. _

__

__

_A/N: Sorry so late for the update! (Hey, that rhymes!) Anyways, I know you guys are prolly all big SasuSaku fans (I am, too!), but just as a warning, this story… is not going to end the way you hope. I know many of you will probably protest but just so you know, those protests will have to fall on deaf ears. I love all your reviews and I hope you guys like my story well enough to let me end it the way I plan. This story's had a continuous "mood" to it that doesn't quite suggest your typical happy ending. Hopefully, my way will take you guys by surprise. Lastly, what can I say? I'm an angst writer and if you haven't gotten that by now, um, maybe I've been writing too happy. Wait, is that even possible? (Looks back on page after page of Sasuke-torture) Anyways, maybe my ending will disappoint a lot of reviewers but hey, you don't have to read and I'm warning you straight up. Plus, I will definitely make up for it. Somehow. _


	22. Chapter 20: Without A Place to Go

Chapter 20: Without A Place to Go

"Let go!"

He kicked with all the strength he had in him, trying to shake himself free. Fear built to a crescendo as he stared into that horrible face of death that he had already seen once before. His face. His rotting, ugly, disgusting face.

No, no, it wasn't him… It couldn't be him…

"Sasuke…" the thing crooned.

Was it the words or the fact that they had been spoken that made him recoil in surprise and terror?

"LET GO!"

For all of his struggling, the grip on his ankle merely tightened. The corpse smiled, toothless and too happily for it to be a comfort.

"What for? You're going to be staying here for a long, long time…"it rasped, "This is your home. You built it yourself, after all."

The words seemed final, like the closing of a door.

"No, no, it can't be…" he uttered, half-screaming, "_You're not me_!"

"But I am," the dead twin grinned. It pointed to its neck, where a familiar seal lay undisguised, like a monster in plain sight, "And don't we look alike? Don't we look the _same_, Sasuke?"

Sasuke blinked and then the ankle that the corpse had grasped was nothing more than a decayed limb. He could see the bone jutting out from the flesh, felt the millions and millions of maggots as they scurried back and forth, in and out his skin. He convulsed, his stomach heaving though there was nothing to throw up.

"What… are… you?" he gasped, doubling over.

"I am you. I am the Mangekyou Sharingan that you never activated. I am your pursuit of power that led you down the path of self-damnation. I am the words that Itachi told you after he killed everyone important to you. I am the revenge that birthed you. I am your hate, your thirst, your destruction… and your punishment."

Sasuke shut his eyes and shook his head, "No…"

"You are mine now," the thing whispered lovingly, "Open your eyes, Sasuke. Open your eyes, foolish little brother."

_wwwwww_

"No…"

She shook her head and repeated again, "No… You're wrong…"

"How so?"

"He came to… to bring me to life…"

"And look where you are now," the shadow interceded dryly.

"No… He said I was… I was… to him…" But then she paused, unsure.

_Am I… that important to you?_

_Something like that._

What exactly had he meant by that?

"Who's he?"

At this, she became quite stricken, eyes widening as she realized she didn't know.

The shadow, if it had expression, would've smirked. The confusion on her face was delicious, "My dear, if you're so sure you're right, then tell me. Who's he?"

_wwwwww_

His leg was normal again. But he couldn't move for his feet were stuck to the ground below him.

He looked at his hands and realized that they were smooth and delicate. There were no scars, no calluses, nothing but tiny fingers and very clean nails. At his side, there was a small pouch for shurikens. He had been practicing them only a hour ago, late into the night. That meant… That meant…

He was ten again.

In front of him, there were two figures kneeling on the ground, their faces obscure. But he knew who they were. How could he not? The scene was too familiar. He had gone through this too many times.

His brother was home.

He could see Itachi's outline and heard him when he opened his mouth and said, "This is what you relived nearly every day of your life, wasn't it, Sasuke? Not just when I tortured you, but when you were alone, by yourself, in bed awake when everyone else slept. This was what made you and what you kept alive. This is the basis of who you are. You were born from blood."

The informative speech ended and the killing began.

_wwwwww_

The shadow stood up, leaving her on the ground. They had not spoken for a long time and he was getting bored. Furthermore, his being was craving for something. He no longer felt the need for company, no longer experienced the pangs of loneliness that he had above the water. Rather, he sensed that he was more malicious than usual, though that wasn't saying much.

But this girl could no longer give him any satisfaction. She no longer endured any pain now that her memories were gone. And pretty as she was, he did not relish the thought of spending any more time with her. She had already been broken.

"Where are you going?" she brought her knees under her chin and rocked herself slowly.

It smirked at the emotionless quality of her voice, "I'm leaving. This river seems to have brought out the worst in me. I'm going to look for someone."

"Who?"

"My father. I'm going to make that bastard suffer. He's down here, somewhere."

"Oh, I see."

"You don't mind me leaving, do you?"

"No. I don't mind."

"Then take care of yourself," the shadow said mockingly before bidding its final farewell.

She didn't respond and kept her eyes focused on the ground as the thing disappeared. She didn't know whether to feel happy or sad now that he was gone. In the end, she decided to feel neither. She was sure she had not had any great attachment to the creature. It didn't even have a face, even if it could talk. Speaking of which, had they been talking? She couldn't be certain, unable to remember their last conversation.

It was odd—since when did she have such short-term memory? Oh well. Being alone now didn't bother her. It didn't feel unpleasant, but it wasn't pleasant either. Really, she wasn't in the mood for anything. Or anybody, for that matter.

Well… maybe a little walking would be nice. There was no reason to stay put.

She stood up and looked into the distance for something to aim for. She could spot nothing worthwhile. Was it nighttime or something? Yet, her feet moved so hurriedly that she caught herself wondering if maybe she was searching for something.

Or someone. Was she searching for someone?

Iie. How could that be. She didn't know anyone. She was just… just walking without having a place to go.


	23. Chapter 21: Of Empty Houses and Empty Ar...

Chapter 21: Of Empty Houses and Empty Arms

Everything was so… so routine.

He was backing away, his young mind numb with fear and then alive with anger.

He was screaming and charging his brother, getting kicked hard in the stomach, and then falling limp to the ground.

He was staring into the dead face of the man that was his father, feeling the blood as it seeped into his clothes.

"Why?" he heard himself asking.

"Because they were a means to measure myself," Itachi told him and ahhh, in the same cold manner that he had said them the first time. But it wasn't really Itachi, he knew. His young mind did not know this was fake, did not know that this house was just a copy of the same thing. His ten-year-old self was becoming crushed under the weight of this experience.

But his real self could not have cared less. This was not fresh pain, this was an old scab that had been picked at too often for it to remain a scar.

"No, that's not what I mean. Why…" his little voice cracked, "…why don't I feel sad?"

This house of blood, of murder, of a past that he could no longer remember meant nothing.

Sasuke stood up and looked at his surroundings quietly, at the place that used to be his home. Then he met the eyes of his enemy and said, "You're not him."

Itachi, as if he had been struck, took a step backward, "What?"

"You said I was born here, you said I dreamed about their deaths to keep strong. You knew that I never wanted to forget this night. He thought I wanted to forget, that he always had to remind me. My brother, that is… Itachi never knew that I wanted to forever remember it."

It didn't hurt to say his name anymore. None of these words brought him anything. Not even guilt.

"Have you forgotten your past, Sasuke?" The icy, hard face disappeared to reveal his rotting twin, the thing that had once been him, "Have you forgotten who these people are?"

Sasuke bit his lip, trying to muster up any emotions of loss that he knew he was supposed to feel. But nothing came, not even the slightest inkling of sorrow. That man was his father, that woman his mother. Yet, even as they lay as bloody victims before his eyes, he could not understand why they were so precious.

What exactly had he sacrificed? That old man had taken his happy memories of the past, but in doing so, his grief and need for vengeance had also been stripped away. He kneeled, touched the white cheeks of his parents, and bowed his head, "Forgive me…"

That was all he could give them now. An apology.

The corpse was wrong. He had not forgotten the past; he had given it up. The door was in front of him, but this time, he did not run to it, half-crazed with fear. But the sounds of his steps as he moved toward it were equally loud in his mind. Step, step… It was, in the end, just another house… Step, step… They were, in the end, just some people…

"Do you think you're free?"

He stopped. Free?

The corpse snarled from behind, "Do you think just because your memories have been stolen that you can escape this place so easily? We both know that the price for your sins will still weigh heavy. You cannot leave that man alive. It is your destiny to kill him, just as you are destined to come back."

The thing was right. This building, these deaths, may have been reduced to insignificance but Itachi, with all his terrible power, was not just another enemy. No, freedom had never been an option.

"And when you do return, we'll see how many doors are open to you."

If Sasuke had not lacked so much of it, he might have taken the time to feel threatened, maybe even a little scared. But someone was waiting for him and she meant more than all the empty houses in the world.

"…We'll see," Sasuke echoed, walking out.

_wwwwww_

When he stepped outside, the house vanished. There was the faintest sense of déjà vu of walking out the door that he dismissed easily. His corpse was gone, though he did not doubt that they would meet again. Looking around, he realized he was at the bottom of the lake and that, to his supreme fortune, the person he was looking for was only a few feet away.

Sakura seemed to be strolling aimlessly, pink hair flowing gently about her, suspended in the water.

He ran toward her, as fast as the river would allow. It was difficult moving his legs, for they felt like they had been loaded down with four hundred pounds of lead, but he persisted until he was close enough to grab her wrist.

"Sakura," he gasped, "Are you alright?"

She stared at his hand and the fingers wrapped around her wrist with not the slightest sign of interest. He waited anxiously for her to look back up but when she finally did, he regretted it for the lack of recognition was jarring. His grip slackened as he stepped back abruptly to meet the eyes of the girl that was and was not Sakura.

He felt something die within him when she asked him dully as to whom he was and did they know each other or something?

"Not that it matters," she added in a blank, unfeeling tone, "Nothing really matters… down here…"

"I'm Sasuke," he managed to mutter, the introduction sapping him of his energy for it felt as if it had been repeated too many times, "I'm here to take you back."

"Take me back? I can't leave. I have to stay here," and with that, she began to walk away.

Her coldness stunned him. He who had always been used to her adoration for so long was dismissed as an insignificant stranger. He who had selfishly left her so many times now watched as she turned the tables on him. For one frightening moment, as her back drew farther and farther away into the night river, he did not know what to do.

"Aren't you… aren't you even going to ask 'back to where'?" he finally said.

Her feet did not lose their momentum, "But it doesn't matter… Like I said, down here, nothing—"

"Don't give me that bullshit," he said roughly, his anger catching up to him as he caught up to her. He thought of those that were waiting and depending on him, "There are people there who care about you. Who love you. Who want you to return. And you say that none of it matters? That _they_ don't matter?"

"Yes," it was such a simple answer that it horrified him and she was still walking, "They're unimportant."

"So… you're just going to forget all of them," Sasuke stated almost disbelievingly.

"Yes."

"I gave up memories for you…" he whispered, "and you'll just give yours up… for nothing?"

She didn't answer.

"You're going to forget me and Kakashi and Ino and your parents… You're going to forget the time we went to the Hidden Mist Village and trained together… You're going to forget how we survived the Forest of Death together…"

She was slowing down. He could see her hesitating, her shoulders bunching up with tension. Whatever he was doing, it seemed to be working.

"You're going to forget your childhood…"

His voice seemed to have a mind of its own. It spoke far more sadly and gently than he had ever heard it. Who was this person whose heart could be heard in his words? Was this the true him? Not stopping to marvel, he urged it on,

"You're going to forget your family and your best friend…"

Her steps had become so small and the intervals in between them so infinite that she seemed to be moving in slow motion.

"…and your teacher and your teammates and your _home_…"

Smaller and smaller…

"They're not--"

"And Naruto?" Sasuke interrupted and she stiffened, utterly still, "Will you forget him, too? The dobe who risked himself so many times for you? Who almost died and gave up his dream for you? You would forget _him_?"

Her right foot lurched forward almost defiantly. Then it stopped and she fell to her knees, clutching her sides. Her whole frame trembled as if about to break.

He rushed to her side, "Sakura, get up. We're going back now."

She didn't react. He felt his mind sink into horror as her image became increasingly transparent. When their eyes met, he saw a distance that horrified him. She was leaving in some way that he could not understand. Perhaps, out of kindness to ease his fears, she reached for his hand. But when her hand touched his skin, he hardly felt its weight.

"Never," she murmured, "Not Naruto." Her fingers grasped his tenderly, "And not you, either, Sasuke-kun. Not anyone…" Then, in wonder, she said, "I know your name… I think…I remember now. Not a lot, but the memories… Some of them, how strange, the old man's given them back now… "

"Sakura, stand up."

"I live in Konoha… There was a field… of sunflowers… There was rain… and you were there… I remember now…"

He didn't understand what she was saying or what was happening. He only knew that she was fading. The pink in her hair was going colorless and her skin was paling drastically.

It didn't make any sense. If she was remembering, why was she fading?

"Sakura, please… just stand up."

But she wasn't listening. Her head had bowed solemnly and she was talking to herself solemnly, "He was wrong… Love can't be death… because real love doesn't die… so long as we remember and treasure it, it will always live…"

He took her into his arms. She didn't feel solid. He suppressed his panic. If he hurried, would he be able to carry her back?

Sakura looked up at him, questioning, "Am I right?"

Too fast. Everything was happening too fast. Already, she was too light, like a feather weighing nothing. She was disappearing and this time, he couldn't do anything. He couldn't save her.

"Real love doesn't die, right, Sasuke-kun?"

He was almost annoyed, too scared to be sensitive. He was the last person she should ask. Didn't she know that already?

But one look at her desperate face, so trusting and anxious that he could not help but reassure her.

"Yes," he assented quietly, "I don't think it does."

"So if I'm remembered, in a way, I'll still be alive."

She needed him to agree again, she wanted his acknowledgement so badly, he could tell. So he nodded slowly, painfully, and said hoarsely, "Yes."

Why wasn't there another way? Why didn't he have another chance--

"Then… Sasuke-kun, will you remember me?"

He couldn't speak, something had lodged in his throat and it felt like his heart. But the answer was there, without words. Like it had always been between them.

_Always._

She smiled, a smile so natural and calm that it felt like he was back in the hospital room and she was thanking him for both staying and leaving her behind.

_I won't hold you back anymore._

And then he was by himself again, his arms holding nothing.

He didn't know how long he sat there at the bottom of that black river. He only knew that at one point, he had held up his hands and looked at them, dimly noting that they were shaking. But for most of the period, his thoughts had merged into one line that repeated itself to the point of exhaustion and beyond.

He had failed.

_wwwwww_

_Sunshine, rain._

_This was her heaven, not that ugly, empty field. _

_Here, she was at peace, feeling the lips of one and the supporting hand of the other._

_Oh, she was happy here, with the two boys she loved most in the world…_

__

_A/N Ok, so I got a little corny. And I ended at yet another cliffhanger. Before you guys gasp and scream at me, let me say that this is not the end. Yes, and let's leave it at that. cackles_

_Omake 1:_

_Sasuke: (horrified whisper) Sakura... you don't remember me?_

_Sakura: No. _

_Sasuke: (whines) But I came all this way and suffered all this angst and gave up my vengeance and my past... just for you!_

_Sakura: Ummm... Why?_

_Sasuke: (blushes prettily) Because... uh... eh... well, you know... I... you... _

_Sakura: (walks away)_

_Sasuke: (still blushing) I don't know why... but I... uh... you... feelings??_

_Omake 2:_

_Sakura: Sasuke... will you remember me?_

_Sasuke: (breaks out in Sarah Mclaughlan) I will remember you... will you remember me? Don't let your life pass you by..._

_Sakura: Hey, don't do that. I'm hanging by a moment here with you._

__

_...As you can prolly see, I need practice writing omake. :(_


	24. Chapter 22: The Last Enemy

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto and never shall. The plot of this story and the characterization, however bad, is still mine though. ;;

Chapter 22: The Last Enemy

It was a while before he got to his feet. So consumed by his grief, he might have spent eternity sitting in total darkness if the thought of his sensei and remaining comrade had not struck his mind. He knew that he was not as alone as he felt for they, too, would suffer the same when they realized she was not coming back.

But first, they had to know. Despite the numbness reigning in his mind, he realized dimly that he wanted to tell them face to face, did not want them to experience the slow, blistering shock and horror that came with the passing of hours. They had probably had enough of that. He owed it to them to let them know that he had failed… and to take the consequences.

With utmost solemnity, he rose and proceeded to walk toward the shore, every bit the criminal walked to the scaffold.

He had to return. They deserved that, at least - to realize that their faith had been misplaced and to experience the righteous rage that would accompany that realization. Kakashi, and more so, Naruto. Maybe the blonde would hate him to the extent that the degree of pain would be slightly more bearable.

Maybe, maybe… almost, almost… Why had it turned out like this? WHY?!

He had been so damn close! …had seen her, heard her, touched her…

"Sasuke-kun…"

He froze, the serpentine quality of the voice conjuring up terrible memories.

"Don't tell me you're leaving empty-handed now."

He turned and there was the demon that had helped him along the path of sin that Itachi had set him on.

Orochimaru smirked, snake eyes revealing only the darkest of intents. In his hands, there laid two glass pieces.

"Forgetting something?" the dead Sannin said casually. He enjoyed the shocked hope and how the Uchiha was forced to fight for control of his emotions. When the beautiful face had melted back into calmness, there was still a touch of curiosity among the animosity. Perhaps Sasuke-kun was wondering how they had come into his possession.

"You were too busy crying over her to notice that she was still here," he decided to explain. They had laid only a few feet away from the mourning Uchiha, who was trapped in his silent sorrow and blinded from the truth no doubt by the river, pieces glistening innocently when he - lured by the presence of the boy he had lusted after - had discovered them, "I doubt, however, that the fragments will last long. Oh, look, they're beginning to grow lighter."

"I was not crying." The response was even, defensive. Trust the boy to lie about his feelings, Orochimaru chuckled, though his gaze remained cold. Some things would never change. Honesty among their kind was rare.

"Give them to me." A certain forcefulness was not.

"You are certainly demanding," the dead man leered, "Haven't you learned by now that there are certain prices to be paid in this Land?"

Disgust, "And what makes you think I'll pay yours?"

"Because even if I'm not alive, I can still break this glass. I trust you know what these shards are? What they contain and what will happen if they are shattered?"

The precious eyes that the Sannin had wanted so badly glared, "Give them to me."

"Only if you give me what I want," Orochimaru hissed in return, "Take me back with you."

"I don't know how and I wouldn't even if I did."

"I know you need my cooperation. You cannot let her die. You have never been able to completely shed your bonds, Sasuke-kun, despite how cold you make yourself to be. It is your weakness." Changing his tone to appear more amiable, he continued, "It's simple, really. There are many ways to do it. But easiest way is this: all I need is that Kyuubi boy. Bring him to me. Bring him into this land and down into this river. I will do the rest. Fortunately, I'm not as powerless as you would like to think, Sasuke-kun."

But the boy was already shaking his head, albeit looking quite torn.

Orochimaru scowled with displeasure, "Oh? The traitor not willing to commit the crime a second time? It's not so hard."

"Never again."

"Not even for the girl you love?" Orochimaru inquired, "Better yet, leave her. Your journey is pointless. Even if you do succeed, I do not know what you would expect to get for she won't remember it anyways. She can give you nothing. But I," the promise was as seductive as it was empty, "I will give you everything if you help me."

The Uchiha's head snapped up and he glared with all the force of his hate at the corpse before him, "Go to hell."

"That's quite funny, seeing as I'm already here," Orochimaru's lips tightened into a cruel smile, as he glanced pointedly at the prize in his hand, "However, you'll have to understand that I won't be the only one."

"Bastard," Sasuke growled and drew on his low chakra reserve, releasing the spin of his Sharingan. The strain was instantaneous. For the first time, he could feel his life shorten dramatically, the terrible weight in his heart and heavy fatigue being alarming indications. Ignoring both, he slid into an offensive stance.

"I'm glad you feel this way, Sasuke-kun," the dead ninja spoke grandly, before lowering his voice dangerously, "It saves me the trouble of negotiating when I can just steal your body."

They had never gotten a chance to finish this. Sasuke remember their last encounter, oddly fresh in his mind. It had been a stressful one, involving a bloody fight over the possession of his body. Too late had he discovered Orochimaru's true intentions for luring him out of Konoha. And with one broken arm and multiple damaged internal organs, he had been losing badly before Naruto, his Sannin-teacher in tow, appeared to take his place.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Come."

Sasuke obeyed and charged.

He knew it wasn't the smartest thing to do, but there were fewer and fewer options to choose from. Hopefully though, by taking this route, he had some advantage. By theory, the other, being lifeless, was prevented from using ninjutsu or Genjutsu. It would be a battle of taijutsu in his favor. Sasuke was counting on that, as well as the possibility of rescuing Sakura as a source of strength.

The latter proved more helpful.

After a few punches were exchanged, Orochimaru's foot aimed with terrible speed at his knee and struck it.

There was a cracking sound as the bone splintered under the force. Sasuke felt the pain all too keenly, restrained a scream (at the same time, he wondered, what was really breaking if it was not the bone of his real body that was here), and leapt back. He let the Sharingan disappear. It had not been of much use. His soul (or what he now considered formally if inaccurately his body since it felt physical pain like the real thing) was weaker now than when he had first come down into the Land of the Dead whereas the other's was not at all damaged or hindered.

Being in a state of death or life, as it were, conferred no advantage.

Moreover, he was unable to react fast enough to the movements that the Sharingan read and Orochimaru did not need ninjutsu or illusions to be a devastating opponent.

Biting his lips, the idea of retrieving the shards propelled him forward again.

Sakura…

Orochimaru's fist slammed into his abdomen. Flying backwards, he let out a gasp of blood and watched dizzily as the crimson mess was instantly sucked away by the dark water around him.

"What's happened to you, Sasuke-kun?" his foe said derisively, "I thought you, the prodigy of the Uchiha clan, would know better than to fight something you can't win again…"

She was still within his reach. He could still save her. All he had to do was defeat this man and they could finally go home again…

He struggled to get up, trying not to falter in his movements.

I won't fail you anymore…

"I'm surprised that you think it's so easy to defeat me," the Sannin walked closer and gracefully grabbed Sasuke around the throat, lifting him up. He murmured mockingly, "Sasuke-kun, you're bleeding, let me get that for you…"

A long tongue flickered out to touch the crimson flecks that had not been absorbed by the water.

"You've grown into a fine, young man. I can't wait to inhabit this body…" The tone had become excited, low and charged with perverse delight.

Sasuke, for his part, wondered how the man could speak so coherently when his tongue was hanging so openly out his mouth. Then, discarding that unsettling thought, he reached out with his uninjured hand, grabbed the slithering thing that was caressing him, and yanked without mercy,

"In your dreams, you sick bastard."

The hand around his neck released him and Orochimaru stumbled backwards. Sasuke used the second he had wisely, reaching out for the shard that his opponent had dropped.

He touched it and…

…drops of rain were suddenly descending upon his skni. He was with her again and she was alive in this memory.

Come, I'll take you home, his voice was gruff but her smile was not. It was the only bright thing in this gray day and she was timidly rising and reaching out her hand to his--

The right side of his face was on fire and to pay for his distraction, he was somehow falling again to the ground. The shards were gone, having fallen or gone to someplace else he did not know. He could not see them. There was only Orochimaru, who stood above him, fist clenched and face almost purple with rage.

It was the end. There was no way he would survive or return, not when he was in such shape, not when the enemy was out for his blood and body.

He saw Orochimaru's eyes focus and lock on his neck,

witnessed the hand descending for the knockout blow, though death would have been kinder,

and braced himself, remembering the precious shard that was Sakura, his reason for going into hell in the first place, his only reason for attempting to leave it.

The skilled hand flew down to him and stopped, millimeters away from his skin. Shock took over Orochimaru's face, the furious eyes darting toward the new presence that had made itself known. Breathing with effort, Sasuke unconsciously turned to look as well, caught a glimpse of yellow hair before being blinded by the light of a thousand suns.


	25. Chapter 23: The Last Familiar Stranger

Chapter 23: The Last Familiar Stranger

The light was a man. Sasuke blinked and saw hair that was not blonde but gold and eyes that were blue and shining. There was a mixture oflight-heartedness and regret on the stranger's handsome face. Yet the sadness was the kind that lent strength to an onlooker and Sasuke could not help the rush of inexplicable admiration.

"You…" Orochimaru snarled, "What are you doing here?"

"What does it matter to you? I have business to attend. Please leave," the man said politely, smiling, and the moment he said it, Orochimaru's presence faded away, like a piff of smoke blown away by the wind. Turning to the boy before him, he asked, "Are you okay?" and with a wink, added, "If I remember correctly, Orochimaru-san was always a bit overbearing, neh?"

Sasuke privately, wordlessly agreed.

Then seriously, the newcomer said,"It is dangerous for you to be here. Your soul is just the kind that this river loves to torment. There is a darkness in you that appeals to evil, which these waters are filled with. It is no wonder that Orochimaru found you so easily, though he will not be the last if you stay."

Sasuke didn't bother to rub his aching throat, red as it was. Instead, he immediately prepared himself to fight against this strange, golden man. His strength was perplexing and undoubtedly immense. He had clearly been responsible for banishing Orochimaru. This in mind, Sasuke braced himself for another all-or-nothing clash.

"You said you had business? Is it with me?" he demanded, tense, trying not to put too much weight on his injured leg.

"Yes," the man's grin looked so familiar it hurt, "Do you want her? She's here, you know. Come closer and I'll show you."

The words didn't register at first. Caught off guard, Sasuke could only stare. Then, when the man made no dangerous move, he hobbled forward. It was proof of how tired he was for he took two steps before stopping in fear of deception and getting too close. Choking, he asked, "Where?"

"Here."

He couldn't see anything at first. And then, cupped carefully in the man's hands, shimmering pieces of glass. There were two of them.

"You found them."

"More like they found me," the man returned ruefully, "They were dropped, I suspect, from the skirmish you were just having. I think perhaps… I reminded her of someone… Here, take them."

"Aa," Sasuke could only watch as the stranger placed the shards into his hands. His weariness lifted almost immediately as his fingers wrapped around these precious treasures. He gazed up at the stranger, dazed by the generosity.

"Take them," the man said simply.

Each fragment was alive, its surface shimmering with images of life. A rainy day, a meadow of sunshine. He could feel the vibrancy of emotion that was trapped within and it was such beauty that it made his fingers tingle.

"What do you want in return?" he asked, preparing himself to give up anything. Life and death both had their high demands but he had learned by now that he could dread the worst and give up the best, if only for a foolish girl that loved too easily.

"There's no price. You've paid enough."

The voice was soft, more understanding than it should have been.

Sasuke's mouth dropped before he could stop himself and he found himself staring not just into a face, but at wisdom itself and honor and strength and sacrifice…

Then, without another word, the noble stranger turned and began to walk away.

Sasuke closed his eyes, almost looking angry but knowing that anger was the farthest emotion from his heart right now. This was the most kindness that he had received since entering the Land of the Dead. Because of this man, he could reach his goal now. Everything that he had faced, had left, had given up… With these glass pieces in his hand, none of it had gone to waste.

He helped me. I can really bring her back now. Back to Konoha, back to everyone, back to… I can bring her back…

He could not commit the crime of hiding his gratitude. Not this time. Mustering up his courage, he called after the man's retreating back with feeling his voice, "Hey--"

"Tell her I said thank you." Without turning back, the figure in white had stopped.

Sasuke faltered as his own "thank you" became lost in confusion.

"For letting me see my son again."

And then before Sasuke could decipher what that meant, the golden head was swallowed up by the blackness and he was left alone, with two glass pieces clutched so tightly in his hand that drops of blood fell unnoticed.


	26. Chapter 24: Final Steps and First Kisses

Chapter 24: Final Steps and First Kisses

Returning to the surface was easier than he supposed, what with his broken "knee" and all. He had no crutch, but he managed, stifling any cries of pain with an expertise that came from experience. Moving carefully but quickly up the underwater slope, he soon emerged from the river with the shards in hand. The black water dripped down and he shook himself. Hard.

Then, breathing raspy and muscles sore, he began walking away.

There were no more obstacles now. No more shadows and the dead could not reach him here.

This way was the way back. He knew instinctively, though he could not see any path. The river behind him disappeared. There was nothing but darkness now. He did not know what ground he was stepping on. The light was not gone, just too far up ahead to be seen. He knew this was the way; it led away from death, it would lead into life.

He hadn't meant to fall in. That is, into the glass. He had been tired. His eyes had wandered. That was all. In the midst of darkness blacker than night, he had been attracted by a glimpse of orange, the flash of pink, and couldn't help but look. It was the folly of a genius that he did not realize he had not yet escaped death's domain.

Even if it had happened so many times before, he had forgotten how easy the smallest of actions, the most simplest of thoughts could be powerful initiatiors in the Land of the Dead.

It was his biggest mistake: accidentally witnessing her first kiss.

* * *

There was a rustling of bushes. She turned rapidly, ready to block with her kunai.

Sasuke could not tear his eyes away. She looked so different, more focused and intense. He never thought she could appear so strong.

The bushes shook again and this time, she flung the dagger neatly toward it. Her hands formed a series of seals and the dagger suddenly became lit with flames.

"Gotcha, Naruto!" she called out triumphantly as the greenery began to blaze. Naruto appeared and ready, she raced forward and delivered a solid blow to the stomach. To her dismay, he disappeared in smoke, "Kage bushin?!"

"Who's got who, Sakura-chan?" the blonde shouted gleefully before pouncing on her from behind. The two went down the hill, fighting and laughing all the way until they were breathless at the bottom.

Sasuke followed and upon seeing them, his eyes widened.

She was lying comfortably in the grass, arms pinned down by the boy on top of her.

No, not a boy, something in his mind whispered. All this time, he had thought of Naruto as some young, foolish, rather stupid child. An opponent, sure, but one from a childhood he had never really lived anyway. Once, their paths had been the same, their goals identical - strenght. But somewhere along the way, they had split, one seeking revenge, the other glory. Rivals no longer, enemies for a while, and then finally just comrades.

Somewhere, along the way, they had each grown up and what one had lost, the other gained.

"…Naruto?"

Her voice brought Sasuke back to the scene before him. The atmosphere as suddenly quiet, questioning, and shy.

The man with the blonde hair and blue eyes, the man that couldn't be Naruto but was didn't respond.

Sasuke, being the genius that he was, knew what was going to happen next. He had seen the weakening, the struggle, the winning desire. Naruto had wanted this for a long time. He tried to rationalize it out but found that there was nothing to rationalize. All the facts supported this reality. Naruto had liked, nay, loved her endlessly and had proven as much on many occasions when he had never done so.

And truth be told, Haruno Sakura had more in common with light-hearted, talkative Uzumaki Naruto than she would ever have with him. And besides, they were only friends now. She had grown up and stopped wanting him that way, remember? Remember?

But even so, he didn't want what would happen to happen. I don't want to see this.

Instead, he watched as Naruto bent down and gently kissed her.

Under a clear, light-filled sky and in a meadow of sunflowers, their lips touched for the first time.

It was something a long time coming. She never pulled away.

* * *

He was sitting down, immobile when he had been pushing forward before. He stared at that shard for the longest time. Behind him, the river had suddenly reappeared.

Some part of him whispered to throw it back, toss it back into the depths of darkness, and let the waves swallow it up.

He even wanted to step on it because underneath the layers of his regret, were monsters of jealousy and anger. The glass looked so fragile in his hand, he thought. One tight squeeze, one instance of compressing pressure, and it would shatter into a million, irreparable pieces.

She would never remember it then. That field of sunshine. Never remember that dumbass, the idiot without enough brains to fill a teacup for Sasuke was sure that it had only happened recently. And who, who could possibly hold him accountable?

The second fragment laid a few feet away, dropped in anguish, now untouched but glared at by dark eyes. Surely there was enough life in the other piece for her to survive.

He entertained the dark thoughts for a while, indulged the hurt that was devouring him, and then banished both to as far as they would leave him.

At last, he joined the two pieces together for after all, how could he deny her Naruto when he needed, in some ways, the dobe himself?

No light, no special effects. The two pieces simply touched and merged and then, she was there, standing without a clue of what had happened. He looked at her for the longest time as she blinked and ran a surprised hand through her hair. Then, her green eyes focused on him and she gave him such a smile that in any other circumstance would have caused even his heart to flutter slightly.

"Sasuke-kun?"

As it were, his heart did react but he kept the pain to himself.

The river was gone.

"Don't be afraid of the dark," he advised, rising to his feet.

"What happened to you?" she gasped at his injuries and hurriedly put his arm around her shoulder, supporting him, "What is this place? Where are we going?"

Up ahead, was the way back to Konoha. Up ahead, was where she belonged even if she no longer belonged to him.

"Home," he said and with a smirk, veiling any negative sentiments,added, "That dobe's waited long enough."


	27. Chapter 25: Epilogue

Epilogue: Between the Shadow and the Soul

_She won't remember this._

_That's what Orochimaru had said. Sasuke had thought it was unfair, that after everything, she would never know how much he had suffered for her. But it was for the best._

_Because, in the end, she wouldn't have to feel guilt for his choices the way she had done in the past._

_And because then, he could finally tell her the darkest, most hidden secret of his soul, tell her that which had laid for the longest time in the shadows of his heart. Demons of revenge had kept him from it, inadequacy and arrogance, and scars that he did not want her to see for a host of reasons. But he could tell her now and not worry about the consequences. Finally tell her before taking her back to Naruto the way Naruto had taken him back to her…_

_They had walked so far, a journey that could be counted more by heartbeats than by steps… And now it was ending… Life was nearby, he could feel it…_

_"Sakura," as the light crept up their bodies, as something tugged at him and pulled them into the right river,_

_as her green eyes turned, searched, and found his, as his throat suddenly became dry not because of thirst,_

_as something was threatening to separate them, the chains of physical reality trying to tear their souls apart,_

_as everything happened at once and their visions were being dazzled by light more brilliant than the sun,_

_He squeezed her hand hard,_

_And when the shadows were being scattered by the light, let his soul whisper,_

_Sakura… I…_

_

* * *

_

A week after their return, she found him quietly meditating in his backyard.

When he sensed her approach, when she sat down beside him, he said, "You should be in the hospital. Naruto told me that your injuries are still healing."

"Tch, Naruto worries too much about anyone who isn't him."

"I think," he said lightly because he could not help letting her know that he knew, "that it's just you."

She blushed, squirming with embarrassment, "Well, they're almost gone. Besides, I _am_ a medical-ninja. If something happens, I think I'll be able to do something before calling for a check-up."

She had a point. He returned his attention to the sky before him, waiting patiently for the sunset.

"Sasuke-kun."

He didn't turn his head. She shifted in front of him, crouched, and stared up at him, "Sasuke--"

He met her eyes evenly, "There's no need to thank me. I didn't do it for you."

It was too obvious a lie. She retorted, "Yeah, well, I benefited, didn't I?"

"…Yes, you did," he admitted with the faintest of grins and fell silent. He didn't want to say anymore. Not of the doubts or the fears or the suffering that he had gone through from the first step to the last. Better to let her think that it had been a quick, easy trip than for her to be miserable and guilty.

"Did you… see anyone?"

Her curiosity, however, was damnable. Her questions made a total lack of explanation impossible. He contemplated all those that he had seen - there had been lessons indirectly taught, pain seen that could not be forgotten. But the one he chose to tell her about surprised both of them.

"My family."

It was clear from her expression that she didn't know what to say. But he could see her decoding those two words, figuring what they covered and hid. She did that better than anyone, even if it caused her a lot of pain in the end.

He would save her the effort this time. Part of it, anyway. "I was offered a chance to stay with them. There, forever. But…"

"But?" Sakura looked at him.

"…they were dead. I was being foolish." For some stupid reason, he tried to laugh it off, thinking perhaps that was what Naruto would have done. Instead, his laugh came out harsh and mirthless.

His face remained blank, but hers crumpled, feeling the pain on his behalf all too deeply. She was always doing that, the idiot. Her head turned slightly to the side was an indication that she was close to weeping and trying to hide it. He cursed himself; for a man of silence, he had spoken too much.

"Don't do that," he said gruffly, "Don't do that, for me."

Her shoulders only shook harder, so he grasped them, an act that once again surprised them both. Face to face, he told her, "_I don't want you to **ever** do that for me_, understand, Sakura?"

Then gently, "There's no point. In two more years, I will leave Konoha and I probably won't see you again anyways."

Her expression was so hurt that he wondered if she was still getting over him, if there was unfinished business between them. He decided not to dwell on it. He had promised Naruto, after all.

"Arigatou," he said at last, releasing her shoulders, "I just wanted to say that before the time comes."

"That's all you ever say…" and he knew she was remembering that night as well. "Why? If you speak of pointless acts, why did you bother to save me if you're just going to leave?"

Of all the reasons he could tell her, he would never tell the most truthful one.

"If I didn't come back, I would never be able to face that idiot." In an afterthought, he added, "Kakashi-sensei, too."

Then he muttered, softer, "They need you, you know. More than they'll ever admit."

And so do I, even if I don't always understand why.

Her response startled him, although later he reasoned he should have expected it.

She burst out crying in loud sobs.

"A part of me was so afraid… of being alone forever… All the time that I was--I was… down there… Even without knowing who I was, I just missed everyone… so much… so much…"

Sasuke drew in a breath. So Orochimaru had lied. She had remembered something; otherwise, she wouldn't be burying her face in her hands, the sting of loneliness pricking her heart.

Just a girl, Sasuke marveled at the vulnerable creature before him, Just a sixteen-year-old girl in the end. And it was suddenly no longer a fact to scorn or dismiss without a second thought. For once, it mattered that she was not completely strong because in this one fear, they were alike. For once, her emotions were not completely unwelcome.

It gave him courage to do something he had never done and when his arms were around her, her face not uncomfortably pressed into his chest, her tearful words gave him a peace that he had rarely felt,

"I'm so glad you came, Sasuke-kun. I'm so glad you brought me back…"

"Me, too," he whispered.

* * *

You are my sunshine… my only sunshine…

Sasuke had never sung before. Idly, he thought perhaps he should try it more often. Only in his thoughts, of course. He could never do it out loud, no matter how soothing a pastime it was to his trouble mind.

You make me happy when skies are gray..

The years ahead looked cold and unforgiving. The day after his eighteenth birthday, he would leave Konoha behind to search for his brother. He didn't know how long it would take, but he had a feeling that it wouldn't be short. Or easy, for that matter.

The future would hold nothing but regrets and sorrow, just as the past had. He felt it instinctively and yet, he couldn't stop himself no matter how badly he wanted to. This hateful agenda was too much apart of him already. Deep in his soul, it was understood that his thirst for vengeance would never stop until Itachi's blood was on his hands. And even then, the pain might never go away for he was too smart to think that killing Itachi would bring his family back.

He wondered if he really even wanted them back. Their memory gone, he searched his entire being for some scrap of longing, and was afraid to admit to himself that it was not there. The fear raised a new, frustrating question - _why was he still doing this, why the hell did he still want it_? - that he would not be able to answer until his brother was dead.

Really, in spite of everything that had happened, he would never be able escape that house.

He would probably be like this for the rest of his life. He could not imagine anything else.

And at the same time, he wondered how he could bear it all when the future was colder and lonelier than his heart could stand.

You'll never know, dear…

Funny how it didn't seem so bad when he thought of her. True, she had cried again because of him. She was always doing that, when he thought about it. Their history proved it so. And he had a feeling that the instructions he had given probably would never be followed. But… that time, her eyes had been happy.

…how much I love you…

Her eyes, even as they wept, had been unclouded by hurt. She had been made happy, for once, truly happy by something he had done. And for now at least, when he was haunted by an empty past and facing an equally empty future, it was all that he had.

Naruto's idiotic laugh, Kakashi-sensei's perverted habits, and her tears of sadness…

Naruto's honest friendship, Kakashi's wisdom, and her tears of happiness…

They were all that he had, the only things that would ever really matter to him in the end. He would've laughed at his own poverty if he hadn't felt so rich.

So… please…

The sun was setting over Konoha. It was growing darker by the minute so that any tiny amount of light was precious.

Somehow, as the shadows grew and he sat on his backyard porch where he had hugged Sakura hours ago, unmoving, he knew it was going to be different this time around.

He was going to miss her.

He was going to miss all of them when he left.

It was common knowledge that a dying man's last moments are usually spent thinking of his loved ones. Sasuke watched the sunset completely and thought he could understand why. Those last moments were a fight against the inevitable, the only bright treasures for those in despair, to be cherished and locked away into the deepest part of one's being where they could never be lost or forgotten by the dead.

For him, these moments were kept between the shadow and the soul. For there, they would never be consumed by the darkness of the one nor the emptiness of the other.

There, even if he should die, they would live and always remain.

Please… don't take… my sunshine away…

Owari.

* * *

Finished before the end of well,my break at least. Finished, as promised. 


End file.
